... I became a student.
Yes, I know, you've been waiting for this post.
So, here it is.
I got 92/100 for my English exam in the linguistic university. And thus I am the third in the list. Yes, I passed, of course.
And I made it to the MSU, where I've been dreaming to study since childhood.
Yup, I will go to the MSU. Though, this was a tough decision.
But this is how it is. Now I will have to get necessary documents, and this will be really over.
And 25th of August I will officially be a student of the best University in the State X)
I am kind of... happy now.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Day 24
Ok. This is the last day, actually.
Damn. I mean... damn. The previous exam for this university I wrote with one girl from courses. She sat just behind me. Today she told me she did not want to speak with me because I did not help her at the exam. She asked me about 30 times and I did not answer. Damn. I did not hear her. This is the person I would have helped if she asked me. Cause I like her. I mean, she's not my type, really, but she is not like "let's get drunk after exams!". And I've known her for 11 months now.
That hurts, but it hurts mentally. I know I would have helped her if only I heard she was asking for my help. But she does not. Damn. It is a misunderstanding, but what should I do?
When she told me about that I apologized. I said I did not hear, but she was like "Ah, yes, of course". Well, she did not want to speak with me, so I did not bother her. And eventually, our seats were on two different sides of the room. The exam was in sports gym so I'm not even sure if I can call it 'the room'. It is like she got about 70 points and I got 86,2.
Anyway, it is sad. Damn. I am growing up with tears in my eyes (Just kidding. Though, this is not a joke).
I am free now. Totally free. I'll rest for a while. And then, maybe tomorrow, I'll begin the Big Room Cleaning. Firstly, because I do it every year and, secondly, because I have not done it for quite a long time now. It's shameful. Hm, and thirdly, because I finished my school and I do not need all this stuff now.
So. This is the real end here.
I got the habit of writing in the blog every day =)
Damn. I mean... damn. The previous exam for this university I wrote with one girl from courses. She sat just behind me. Today she told me she did not want to speak with me because I did not help her at the exam. She asked me about 30 times and I did not answer. Damn. I did not hear her. This is the person I would have helped if she asked me. Cause I like her. I mean, she's not my type, really, but she is not like "let's get drunk after exams!". And I've known her for 11 months now.
That hurts, but it hurts mentally. I know I would have helped her if only I heard she was asking for my help. But she does not. Damn. It is a misunderstanding, but what should I do?
When she told me about that I apologized. I said I did not hear, but she was like "Ah, yes, of course". Well, she did not want to speak with me, so I did not bother her. And eventually, our seats were on two different sides of the room. The exam was in sports gym so I'm not even sure if I can call it 'the room'. It is like she got about 70 points and I got 86,2.
Anyway, it is sad. Damn. I am growing up with tears in my eyes (Just kidding. Though, this is not a joke).
I am free now. Totally free. I'll rest for a while. And then, maybe tomorrow, I'll begin the Big Room Cleaning. Firstly, because I do it every year and, secondly, because I have not done it for quite a long time now. It's shameful. Hm, and thirdly, because I finished my school and I do not need all this stuff now.
So. This is the real end here.
I got the habit of writing in the blog every day =)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Day 23
I did not go to the High School of Economics after all. I did some English tests and watched some nice episodes and ate fish under cheese with broccoli (yummy thing in spite of broccoli).
So that was a nice day. Tomorrow is my last exam, so this will be the end of logging, I suppose.
As soon as I know results, I'll write here. And then I think I will make a new blog, a student's blog. But I'll think about it later. Now - shower and sleep.
I hope I will be a student this year.
So, Good Luck everyone!
Hooray for the last exam!
Bye-nee~!
So that was a nice day. Tomorrow is my last exam, so this will be the end of logging, I suppose.
As soon as I know results, I'll write here. And then I think I will make a new blog, a student's blog. But I'll think about it later. Now - shower and sleep.
I hope I will be a student this year.
So, Good Luck everyone!
Hooray for the last exam!
Bye-nee~!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Day 22
Well. What should I tell? I cried a lot today. So I slept (I always do that when I feel sad). But I slept quite a little. And my head does not hurt now. Though, my red eyes do.
Granny called twice. She asked me twice about the same things. Aha.
Well. I do not know. I won't go tomorrow to the High School of Economics. I'm not in right condition for the next exam now. But I'll prepare for English in MSLU.
Well. I tried a lot of things in my life. Looking back, I should say I did not manage to get what I really wanted. Why? Dunno. Because I did not try hard enough?
Well. Maybe I am just not worth it. Or maybe I am just offended.
Granny called twice. She asked me twice about the same things. Aha.
Well. I do not know. I won't go tomorrow to the High School of Economics. I'm not in right condition for the next exam now. But I'll prepare for English in MSLU.
Well. I tried a lot of things in my life. Looking back, I should say I did not manage to get what I really wanted. Why? Dunno. Because I did not try hard enough?
Well. Maybe I am just not worth it. Or maybe I am just offended.
...
Tadaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I failed.
I mean, I got 50 points for history. Well, I really did not know what the Buligin's Parlament was.
My head hurts 'cause I cried for about an hour. More than an hour now.
Mom called. She stopped saying something like "as expected". She also said that she'll call again. Good. That's great, really. Now I can make a mistake. Hope, I won't.
I failed.
I mean, I got 50 points for history. Well, I really did not know what the Buligin's Parlament was.
My head hurts 'cause I cried for about an hour. More than an hour now.
Mom called. She stopped saying something like "as expected". She also said that she'll call again. Good. That's great, really. Now I can make a mistake. Hope, I won't.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Day 21
I forget things. I do, really.
My English sucks. I got only 80 points for it. I appealed and there were mistakes. Damn it. So, it is not right when I say "At history" when I mean a lesson at school? And think requires "about" and not "of"...
Tomorrow exam will determine my life. And I only learned till 17th century and I know 20th century erm... not good.
Today I talked to a lot of people. I'm making some social progress. Ah, I got acquainted with a guy who sure is studious X) (I'm sorry if you ever will read this, but you are kinda like that). Though, he did not give me such an impression.
And I spent many hours (or so it seemed) with a guy I've known for a little less than a month. He paid for a part of my ice-cream. lol. When he was getting of the carriage in the underground I thought he would kiss me for a second. Haha, I know you read this X) That's ridiculous, right?
So, now it is 83+67+45+80 = 275 And it is an average. I mean I asked about 10 people today. They all have more or less but around 300.
Oh my, I want to be a student already. But I can't believe this will end tomorrow. And I always get a worse mark than I hope for. Ehems.
Damn.
My English sucks. I got only 80 points for it. I appealed and there were mistakes. Damn it. So, it is not right when I say "At history" when I mean a lesson at school? And think requires "about" and not "of"...
Tomorrow exam will determine my life. And I only learned till 17th century and I know 20th century erm... not good.
Today I talked to a lot of people. I'm making some social progress. Ah, I got acquainted with a guy who sure is studious X) (I'm sorry if you ever will read this, but you are kinda like that). Though, he did not give me such an impression.
And I spent many hours (or so it seemed) with a guy I've known for a little less than a month. He paid for a part of my ice-cream. lol. When he was getting of the carriage in the underground I thought he would kiss me for a second. Haha, I know you read this X) That's ridiculous, right?
So, now it is 83+67+45+80 = 275 And it is an average. I mean I asked about 10 people today. They all have more or less but around 300.
Oh my, I want to be a student already. But I can't believe this will end tomorrow. And I always get a worse mark than I hope for. Ehems.
Damn.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Day 20
The day is not over yet.
Today I watched two episodes of new series - Dennou Coil and it was amazing for its idea.
Well, I did not learn a lot today, but I'm not done yet.
Tomorrow I will go to the University and see what's my mark for the English exam. If it is less than 90/100 I will definitely be angry. I'm going to appeal anyway.
So, today was frustration and I wanted to sleep and I did almost nothing but I gained some confidence. And I read a few comments on MSLU which were all negative. And I got best score in tetris today. So, I'll go and learn some more history now. I guess tomorrow I will live on caffeine.
Today I watched two episodes of new series - Dennou Coil and it was amazing for its idea.
Well, I did not learn a lot today, but I'm not done yet.
Tomorrow I will go to the University and see what's my mark for the English exam. If it is less than 90/100 I will definitely be angry. I'm going to appeal anyway.
So, today was frustration and I wanted to sleep and I did almost nothing but I gained some confidence. And I read a few comments on MSLU which were all negative. And I got best score in tetris today. So, I'll go and learn some more history now. I guess tomorrow I will live on caffeine.
The Impossible
What is "impossible"? It is a word. And nothing else. It can be impossible for you to walk if you do not have legs. It can be impossible for you to fly if you do not have wings.
But impossible is nothing when it comes for you, trying to pass exams. You do have a head and there is brain in it. So it is possible for you to learn the required information even if you have lots of material and little time.
It is possible. I have done it already. Many times before. I have learnt history in two days and got "good" at school a month ago. I just have to revise it and it will improve and I'll get "excellent" now. The day after tomorrow. I will get it. Because "impossible" is just a word.
But impossible is nothing when it comes for you, trying to pass exams. You do have a head and there is brain in it. So it is possible for you to learn the required information even if you have lots of material and little time.
It is possible. I have done it already. Many times before. I have learnt history in two days and got "good" at school a month ago. I just have to revise it and it will improve and I'll get "excellent" now. The day after tomorrow. I will get it. Because "impossible" is just a word.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Day 18&19
And again I skipped one day in this blog. Well, that is because... I don't know why.
Yesterday I tried to prepare for today's exam - I read some topics and essays from school notebooks. Today was English exam in the University. I hope, really-really hope that I will get a lot of points for it. *prays for the Holy Brain* Oh, please!
Yesterday I watched about half series FMP TSR because I came across with some spoilers that Chidore died there. That was not true, though. I mean, Sagara was told so, but that was not true. But I had to watch the second part of this series to know that. Haha, I am an otaku.
I have some problems with articles as you could have noticed (I have lots of problems with English, but that is the main one, I suppose).
Today I did not make it to the Academy for my first exam there. Actually, I did not want to go there. I just considered the University being my priority. Huh. I hope I made the right decision. After I got home I played Age of Empires II till my neck hurt. And then I ate a nice dinner with parents.
I have a history exam in the University on 22, and I should know the subject so damn good to get the highest points. On 23 there is Social Sciences (I don't know whether I'll go - it is for the High School of Economics). And on 24 there is big English test in MSLU for which I have to prepare, too. And to prepare damn good as well.
Ah, I will tell you about some experience that I gained today. I have left my bag in my dad's car and so I had with me only documents, a chocolate bar, pens and a bottle of water. So, I had no mobile phone. I finished my exam earlier and had to wait for my papa at the bus stop watching all the cars passing by me. That was funny to watch how every bus stopped for me, waited for a while to realise I won't get on it and left. I had to wait about half an hour or maybe a little more than twenty minutes. Having nothing with me and with an exhausted brain filling my head I ate the whole bar of chocolate. It was quite rare type - black chocolate with almond, squared. I suppose, you now know what german firm manufactured this chocolate (I like to say chocolatle for some reason). That's it. Always take with you something to eat and something to call.
By the way, I noticed that with every next exam I sleep better than the exam before. Though, it is hot now at nights and I can't help waking up because of the heat. Maybe I should get another blanket, not so winter-thick. Hm. I'll think about it. Last night there was lightning and thunder hitting really hard over the sky. It rained, of course. And guess what? I woke up only once at night and then fell asleep again. I sleep better. Nerves become stronger, I guess. Before the first exam I could not sleep well. And now it is ok for me. But I still do not like waking up so early. Neither do I like to get up late.
Two days to re-learn history beginning from tomorrow. I am going to enter, really enter this old University with broken seats in auditoriums and professors who can't answer your questions without laughing at you. Or maybe I'll reconsider that and get somewhere else. I'll see later.
Yesterday I tried to prepare for today's exam - I read some topics and essays from school notebooks. Today was English exam in the University. I hope, really-really hope that I will get a lot of points for it. *prays for the Holy Brain* Oh, please!
Yesterday I watched about half series FMP TSR because I came across with some spoilers that Chidore died there. That was not true, though. I mean, Sagara was told so, but that was not true. But I had to watch the second part of this series to know that. Haha, I am an otaku.
I have some problems with articles as you could have noticed (I have lots of problems with English, but that is the main one, I suppose).
Today I did not make it to the Academy for my first exam there. Actually, I did not want to go there. I just considered the University being my priority. Huh. I hope I made the right decision. After I got home I played Age of Empires II till my neck hurt. And then I ate a nice dinner with parents.
I have a history exam in the University on 22, and I should know the subject so damn good to get the highest points. On 23 there is Social Sciences (I don't know whether I'll go - it is for the High School of Economics). And on 24 there is big English test in MSLU for which I have to prepare, too. And to prepare damn good as well.
Ah, I will tell you about some experience that I gained today. I have left my bag in my dad's car and so I had with me only documents, a chocolate bar, pens and a bottle of water. So, I had no mobile phone. I finished my exam earlier and had to wait for my papa at the bus stop watching all the cars passing by me. That was funny to watch how every bus stopped for me, waited for a while to realise I won't get on it and left. I had to wait about half an hour or maybe a little more than twenty minutes. Having nothing with me and with an exhausted brain filling my head I ate the whole bar of chocolate. It was quite rare type - black chocolate with almond, squared. I suppose, you now know what german firm manufactured this chocolate (I like to say chocolatle for some reason). That's it. Always take with you something to eat and something to call.
By the way, I noticed that with every next exam I sleep better than the exam before. Though, it is hot now at nights and I can't help waking up because of the heat. Maybe I should get another blanket, not so winter-thick. Hm. I'll think about it. Last night there was lightning and thunder hitting really hard over the sky. It rained, of course. And guess what? I woke up only once at night and then fell asleep again. I sleep better. Nerves become stronger, I guess. Before the first exam I could not sleep well. And now it is ok for me. But I still do not like waking up so early. Neither do I like to get up late.
Two days to re-learn history beginning from tomorrow. I am going to enter, really enter this old University with broken seats in auditoriums and professors who can't answer your questions without laughing at you. Or maybe I'll reconsider that and get somewhere else. I'll see later.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Day 17
I took a Social Science exam in MSLU and it was ok. Test was quite easy for me as I have gone to the prep studies at this University. But we'll see what I get. It was funny, by the way. I met a lot of people whom I knew. And that was great. I did not worry much about the exam except when I wrote the answers in the list for answers. I thought I could make some mistakes like write 2 and not 3. But it all went ok. I felt dizzy at the exam because I tried to do the tests fast to manage it to the Academy.
I came to the Academy to find out that I'll have an exam at the same time on 19th with another exam to the University.
And now I know my result in the University for Social Sciences exam. It is 45. Quite low. But I'm through. I'll try to do my best at the next exam, which is English.
Well I'll count my results:
83 for Russian
67 for composition
45 for Social Science
83+67+45= 195. It is 195 of 300 possible. Damn. I feel kinda sad. Since yesterday, really.
And my result at High School of Economics is 5/10 for History. That was expected.
I just saw Hancock. Did not like it very much.
What do I do now?
I want to have a rest already. I am depressed and stressed out.
I came to the Academy to find out that I'll have an exam at the same time on 19th with another exam to the University.
And now I know my result in the University for Social Sciences exam. It is 45. Quite low. But I'm through. I'll try to do my best at the next exam, which is English.
Well I'll count my results:
83 for Russian
67 for composition
45 for Social Science
83+67+45= 195. It is 195 of 300 possible. Damn. I feel kinda sad. Since yesterday, really.
And my result at High School of Economics is 5/10 for History. That was expected.
I just saw Hancock. Did not like it very much.
What do I do now?
I want to have a rest already. I am depressed and stressed out.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Day 16
History exam today. It was difficult. Crazy questions. Mah.
Tomorrow I've got another exam - Social Science and I'll go to the consultation to Law Academy.
One episode today. And it was really hot in the street that I was all sweaty. I don't really like it because you feel awkward of all this "sweatiness".
I will get up tomorrow at 6-25 a.m. And my exam is at 9 a.m. on the other side of this big city.
Well, I will find out about the day after tomorrow - whether I have another history exam or not at this Academy. Damn, Academy X) It sounds so... dramatic.
It is raining now outside so I wonder if it will be hot tomorrow or it will be rainy and I will be soaked not with sweat but with clouds' water. Huh.
I'm going to bed now with my notebook and will revise notes that I made during this year (ok, during the last month when we made a whole bunch of tests).
And my friend left today. She'll come back at the end of August. I wanted to say that I envy her. But... I begin to like these exam-passing mode. Because you learn a lot of stuff that is only necessary because you take these exams. Hahaha!
Bye-nee!
Tomorrow I've got another exam - Social Science and I'll go to the consultation to Law Academy.
One episode today. And it was really hot in the street that I was all sweaty. I don't really like it because you feel awkward of all this "sweatiness".
I will get up tomorrow at 6-25 a.m. And my exam is at 9 a.m. on the other side of this big city.
Well, I will find out about the day after tomorrow - whether I have another history exam or not at this Academy. Damn, Academy X) It sounds so... dramatic.
It is raining now outside so I wonder if it will be hot tomorrow or it will be rainy and I will be soaked not with sweat but with clouds' water. Huh.
I'm going to bed now with my notebook and will revise notes that I made during this year (ok, during the last month when we made a whole bunch of tests).
And my friend left today. She'll come back at the end of August. I wanted to say that I envy her. But... I begin to like these exam-passing mode. Because you learn a lot of stuff that is only necessary because you take these exams. Hahaha!
Bye-nee!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Day 15
This is getting serious. Exams are going in a row and only one ep today.
I'm not gonna make it to the School of Economics. Those tests are erm... 26/50 is my best result.
I have to succeed and enter at least one of these universities but... No "but"s here! I will be a student this year. I will be!
So, one pre-exam lecture (like consultation or something), two tests, one anime episode, strange food made by me, half a book on history and some good time on youtube. I found one awesome guy here.
So it will be history tomorrow. One hour for 50 questions. That is ok. It is not 250 that I will have the day after tomorrow. Oh, that's that late already! Gonna get some sleep now. Sleep is good. By the way, the exam will be on 11 a.m. So cool! It is not 9 a.m. the day after tomorrow. Yay for School of Economics and its late exams!
I'm not gonna make it to the School of Economics. Those tests are erm... 26/50 is my best result.
I have to succeed and enter at least one of these universities but... No "but"s here! I will be a student this year. I will be!
So, one pre-exam lecture (like consultation or something), two tests, one anime episode, strange food made by me, half a book on history and some good time on youtube. I found one awesome guy here.
So it will be history tomorrow. One hour for 50 questions. That is ok. It is not 250 that I will have the day after tomorrow. Oh, that's that late already! Gonna get some sleep now. Sleep is good. By the way, the exam will be on 11 a.m. So cool! It is not 9 a.m. the day after tomorrow. Yay for School of Economics and its late exams!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Day 14
So, today was the day after exam. And I spent it like always - doing nothing. I have an exam after tomorrow and then another one. History and Social Science. Tests. I am again not ready for them. I guess this habit of resting is not good for me.
I watched 6 episodes today, read three pages of Lolita by Nabokov and looked at the history book. It has a greenish cover that I like. And it looks so used, some pages go out of their places. That was not my book or it would be in much better condition. Because I do not study.
Maybe this hating-for-not-studying is cool but it is not effective.
Tomorrow I have to get up early and go to the School of Economics to listen to some guy who'll tell me what will be at the exam. And I do not know how to get to that place. So wish me good luck.
I watched 6 episodes today, read three pages of Lolita by Nabokov and looked at the history book. It has a greenish cover that I like. And it looks so used, some pages go out of their places. That was not my book or it would be in much better condition. Because I do not study.
Maybe this hating-for-not-studying is cool but it is not effective.
Tomorrow I have to get up early and go to the School of Economics to listen to some guy who'll tell me what will be at the exam. And I do not know how to get to that place. So wish me good luck.
Day 12&13
Day 12 - Learning like hell. I took my computer monitor and put it on the floor. No computer for 1 day. I learned so much I felt I was gonna puke.
Day 13. Exam day. I decided to revise everything before it. NEVER do it. Never. Because your head becomes full of unnecessary information.
About exam. It was boring because all people with whom I got acquainted were sitting at other places in this big-big room. And I did not manage to go out to the toilet. They think that all the people can go out in one hour. Aha... And the test was difficult. Mah. I hope I'll get at least 30/100.
I got 67/100 for my composition. This is a good result for this University.
It is quite hot outside. Wanna go out.
Day 13. Exam day. I decided to revise everything before it. NEVER do it. Never. Because your head becomes full of unnecessary information.
About exam. It was boring because all people with whom I got acquainted were sitting at other places in this big-big room. And I did not manage to go out to the toilet. They think that all the people can go out in one hour. Aha... And the test was difficult. Mah. I hope I'll get at least 30/100.
I got 67/100 for my composition. This is a good result for this University.
It is quite hot outside. Wanna go out.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Day 11
Huh. I watched to 26th episode of Eureka. Yeah. I'm going out of Internet, I won't be online for a while. If I have guts, I will be ready for the f exam by the day after tomorrow's morning.
Bye-nee!
Bye-nee!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Day 10
Hey there. I finished watching Lucky Star today and got no motivation from it, but lots of fun. I was smiling like an idiot the whole last episode. This blog is getting trashed with anime stuff.
I decided to watch Eureka 7 after exams. It will be more fun later.
Yeah, first pic in my blog.
I did 60 questions economics test today with 23 mistakes. That's great. I also found out that one of my books is useless. And that I know a lot of stuff in law. Like marriage, some rights of married people, labour law... And other stuff.
Well, I guess everything is for the "greater good".
I decided to watch Eureka 7 after exams. It will be more fun later.
Yeah, first pic in my blog.
I did 60 questions economics test today with 23 mistakes. That's great. I also found out that one of my books is useless. And that I know a lot of stuff in law. Like marriage, some rights of married people, labour law... And other stuff.
Well, I guess everything is for the "greater good".
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Day 9
This is not getting me anywhere. I am lazy.
They'll say that I passed the first exam so I can take the second only at 4 p.m. the day before next exam.
I like characters in Eureka and this anime is being downloaded quite fast.
What exactly am I doing with my life? What is it all for? Where my dreams have gone? What should I do with the time given? What is worth doing and what is not? I have 2,5 days till the next exam. I know I will learn something. But those days of idling and not knowing why I am doing all this suck. Really. And I can't even let myself fail to know the bitterness of loosing. Because if I fail I will not have another chance. Not good.
They'll say that I passed the first exam so I can take the second only at 4 p.m. the day before next exam.
I like characters in Eureka and this anime is being downloaded quite fast.
What exactly am I doing with my life? What is it all for? Where my dreams have gone? What should I do with the time given? What is worth doing and what is not? I have 2,5 days till the next exam. I know I will learn something. But those days of idling and not knowing why I am doing all this suck. Really. And I can't even let myself fail to know the bitterness of loosing. Because if I fail I will not have another chance. Not good.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Day 8
Nothing done. I really can't get down to work right after exam. So, today was my day-off with really lots of anime. I did my household chores, too.
My room is clean from literature books already and there are fewer Social science books.
I have got no one to go out with. But now I have a great anime-show to watch. I planned to watch it for some YEARS and here I go.
Overall, I found out that I am totally non-active, unsociable person. I lack willpower and self-appraise. I stopped talking to myself. I guess it was better when I did.
You know what is the difference between school and life? In real life you have no one to tell you where you made a mistake and no one to praise you for your results, no one to help you. Everything that I learned in school is fake. And it seems I have no reason to think about it and keep moving on. Except I'm not sure what to do.
My room is clean from literature books already and there are fewer Social science books.
I have got no one to go out with. But now I have a great anime-show to watch. I planned to watch it for some YEARS and here I go.
Overall, I found out that I am totally non-active, unsociable person. I lack willpower and self-appraise. I stopped talking to myself. I guess it was better when I did.
You know what is the difference between school and life? In real life you have no one to tell you where you made a mistake and no one to praise you for your results, no one to help you. Everything that I learned in school is fake. And it seems I have no reason to think about it and keep moving on. Except I'm not sure what to do.
Day 7
My bad, it's too late now.
I've been watching Lucky Star and missed the time.
Exam today - composition. Well, you never know what will come in the work, so you have to learn everything, right? I did not re-read this novel x_x I suppose it was ok, though. I hope so.
So, I'm going to sleep now.
I wanna have fun X)
I've been watching Lucky Star and missed the time.
Exam today - composition. Well, you never know what will come in the work, so you have to learn everything, right? I did not re-read this novel x_x I suppose it was ok, though. I hope so.
So, I'm going to sleep now.
I wanna have fun X)
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Day 5
Ah, it is raining and that's why I'm sleepy again.
Today I read a poem and some critical material about the second author. The main achievement is a finished anime series - I watched the last 7 episodes of Spice and Wolf. I was quite disappointed by its ending, though. Just a little bit. Yeah.
So, there is an exam the day after tomorrow. I have lots of work to do and my head is full of quotes for composition but I can't really remember where they are from now. Haha.
That's it. I did not work properly today.
Oh, yeah, I forgot...
I am lonely.
Today I read a poem and some critical material about the second author. The main achievement is a finished anime series - I watched the last 7 episodes of Spice and Wolf. I was quite disappointed by its ending, though. Just a little bit. Yeah.
So, there is an exam the day after tomorrow. I have lots of work to do and my head is full of quotes for composition but I can't really remember where they are from now. Haha.
That's it. I did not work properly today.
Oh, yeah, I forgot...
I am lonely.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Day 4
Got the paper from MSLU.
Read a play by the third writer (one novel and a story left).
Read about the second writer/poet's novel (one poem left).
+3 episodes of Wolf and Spice.
I tried to write quotes from the novel in OpenOffice, but could not concentrate.
1,5 day left.
Read a play by the third writer (one novel and a story left).
Read about the second writer/poet's novel (one poem left).
+3 episodes of Wolf and Spice.
I tried to write quotes from the novel in OpenOffice, but could not concentrate.
1,5 day left.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Day 3
Today I read poems by the second writer. One poem and novel by him left.
Then I went and re-applied to the Academy. But I forgot one paper for MSLU so I'll go there tomorrow. Again. I spend so much time on things because of my mistakes.
In the evening I listened to the lecture James D. Watson, the scientist who discovered DNA structure with F. Crick . Wow, I saw a person whom I knew from my biology student book. And he was ALIVE X) That is crazy. He is 80 this year.
Well. There are James Watson quotes (I can't ascertain you that they are exact and right, but I tried to write them down as soon as possible):
So, that's it. Prof. J. Watson said a lot more but I was so amazed at first that I didn't write it down. His words were motivational, he wanted to inspire scientists. That was great.
Ah, now I have only two exams on 23. And one will be on 18 (in Academy - History). And I must pass it with all my might.
Good luck everyone!
Then I went and re-applied to the Academy. But I forgot one paper for MSLU so I'll go there tomorrow. Again. I spend so much time on things because of my mistakes.
In the evening I listened to the lecture James D. Watson, the scientist who discovered DNA structure with F. Crick . Wow, I saw a person whom I knew from my biology student book. And he was ALIVE X) That is crazy. He is 80 this year.
Well. There are James Watson quotes (I can't ascertain you that they are exact and right, but I tried to write them down as soon as possible):
"We wanted to be first"
"Committees slow everything down" - about hiring people.
"We hired people before everybody knew they were good."
"As a boy I was told that mathematicians are strange."
"All the things I said might be wrong except... I don't think so."
"People who work on schizophrenia, they should be excited. That is a message of my lecture".
So, that's it. Prof. J. Watson said a lot more but I was so amazed at first that I didn't write it down. His words were motivational, he wanted to inspire scientists. That was great.
Ah, now I have only two exams on 23. And one will be on 18 (in Academy - History). And I must pass it with all my might.
Good luck everyone!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Day 2
Here it is. I have 2,5 days to prepare for the exam. It will be on Monday, the 7th. Tomorrow I'll go and re-apply for MSLA (Academy ^__^), then take a paper in MSLU and tadaaan - I'll go to the lecture.
Today I did nothing except (in order):
1. went shopping;
2. posted in blogger about motivational stuff;
3. read my diary from a year-ago-time and realized that I wanted to enter the University for so long (that's why I better try hard or regret it forever);
4. ate cheese (I'm crazy about it);
5. installed new version of Licq, but it got the same error as the last version, so I tried to install pidgin, and it didn't work at all (Help me, oh please T0T);
6. saw 3 episodes from OHSHC;
7. read a novel by the first poet/writer (yup, I'm still on the first one).
I found out that it won't work for me what I tried to do till the present. I read compositions and critics and that made me sick. So now I read original works and analyze them myself. I just should know what themes and problems are in here and when I read the text I see them. I will try to do it myself.
Ha-ha...
Please, make a bet with me that I will succeed everywhere. Plea~se.
Today I did nothing except (in order):
1. went shopping;
2. posted in blogger about motivational stuff;
3. read my diary from a year-ago-time and realized that I wanted to enter the University for so long (that's why I better try hard or regret it forever);
4. ate cheese (I'm crazy about it);
5. installed new version of Licq, but it got the same error as the last version, so I tried to install pidgin, and it didn't work at all (Help me, oh please T0T);
6. saw 3 episodes from OHSHC;
7. read a novel by the first poet/writer (yup, I'm still on the first one).
I found out that it won't work for me what I tried to do till the present. I read compositions and critics and that made me sick. So now I read original works and analyze them myself. I just should know what themes and problems are in here and when I read the text I see them. I will try to do it myself.
Ha-ha...
Please, make a bet with me that I will succeed everywhere. Plea~se.
Maybe this way?
Damn. I want some jerk to be with me. So that he could tell me: "Haha, MSU? Nooo, you are not gonna make it. You'll never succeed". Maybe then I'd have understood that it is worth it?
Well, thank you everybody who are encouraging me, I appreciate it very much.
Well, thank you everybody who are encouraging me, I appreciate it very much.
Motivational Quotes - My collection
I know there are lots of them. So, here are my favorites (I colored some of them):
If you love what you do, you will never work another day in your life."
--Confucius
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it."
-- William Durant
"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are."
-- Max DePree
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."
-- Carl Bard
"I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot... and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's precisely why I succeed."
-- Michael Jordan, one of the NBA's greatest players.
"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it"
-- Art Williams
"The most painful thing to experience is not defeat but regret"
-- Leo Bascaglia
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
-- Elbert Hubbard
"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."
-- James Allen
"The trouble with many plans is that they are based on the way things are now. To be successful, your personal plan must focus on what you want, not what you have."
-- Nido Qubein
"Challenging the meaning of life is the truest expression of the state of being human." - Viktor Frankl
"Everything must be made as simple as possible but not one bit simpler."
-Albert Einstein
"Strength of mind is exercise, not rest."
-Alexander Pope
Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning. Mohandas Karamchand (Mahatma) Gandhi
"I'm not the kind of guy to knock at a door and then when the door is opened not go in."
-William Saroyan
"Few minds wear out; most rust out."
-Christian Nextell Bouee
"No man is free that cannot command himself."
-Pythagoras
"Learn something new every day under the sun. You will never get old if you do."
-Lois Bey
"Inspiration springs more readily from knowledge than from ignorance."
-Horace Meyer Kallen
"Doubt whom you will, but never doubt yourself."
-Christian Nestell Bovee
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain."
-William Jennings Bryan
"Whatever you truly conceive of in the mind, is possible."
"Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity."
-Edwin Hubbel Chapin
"Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.."
-Washington Irving
"The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it cannot be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it."
-Elbert Hubbard
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Alva Edison
"Those who are quite satisfied sit still and do nothing; those who are not quite satisfied are the sole benefactors of the world."
-Walter Savage Landor
A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.- Unknown
"Each forward step we take we leave some phantom of ourselves behind."
-John Lancaster Spalding
School is a building that has four walls--with tomorrow inside.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
Doing your best is more important than being the best.
Giant oak trees started out as little nuts.
The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire. -- Ferdinand Foch
Always give more than what's expected. -- Donald Trump
If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. -- Thomas Edison
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Neither you nor the world knows what you can do until you have tried. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
So many times people end up fixated on doing things rights, that they end up doing nothing at all. -- The Wright Brothers
A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit. -- Richard Bach
Fall seven times, stand up eight. -- Japanese proverb
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. -- Thomas Edison
Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never. -- Winston Churchill
You have not lived a perfect day, unless you've done something for someone who will never be able to repay you. -- Ruth Smeltzer
Without deviation, progress is not possible. -- Frank Zappa
If you're not lighting any candles, don't complain about being in the dark.
I will never give in until the day that I die. I'll get myself some independence, carve out a future with my two bare hands. -- The Alarm
If at first you don't succeed, you're like everyone else who went on to greatness. -- Patrick Combs
Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by ***, do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen. -- Lee Iacocca, Chairman Chrysler Motors
____________________________________
Update:
I have finished university lately and posted some advice and quotes for exams, if you are interested: Motivation for students
____________________________________
Sites (You can find more there):
http://www.innertalk.com/quotes.html
http://www.coolmath.com/Survivor-Algebra/10-motivational-quotes.html - there are a lot more
http://quotations.about.com/cs/inspirationquotes/a/Life24.htm - I haven't read it, but that looks good
http://djstoddard.wordpress.com/ - btw, it is a great blog of Unmotivated Motivational author
http://www.redsofts.com/articles/read/284/8249/How_To_Make_The_Most_Of_Your_Life.html
If you love what you do, you will never work another day in your life."
--Confucius
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it."
-- William Durant
"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are."
-- Max DePree
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."
-- Carl Bard
"I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot... and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's precisely why I succeed."
-- Michael Jordan, one of the NBA's greatest players.
"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it"
-- Art Williams
"The most painful thing to experience is not defeat but regret"
-- Leo Bascaglia
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
-- Elbert Hubbard
"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."
-- James Allen
"The trouble with many plans is that they are based on the way things are now. To be successful, your personal plan must focus on what you want, not what you have."
-- Nido Qubein
"Challenging the meaning of life is the truest expression of the state of being human." - Viktor Frankl
"Everything must be made as simple as possible but not one bit simpler."
-Albert Einstein
"Strength of mind is exercise, not rest."
-Alexander Pope
Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning. Mohandas Karamchand (Mahatma) Gandhi
"I'm not the kind of guy to knock at a door and then when the door is opened not go in."
-William Saroyan
"Few minds wear out; most rust out."
-Christian Nextell Bouee
"No man is free that cannot command himself."
-Pythagoras
"Learn something new every day under the sun. You will never get old if you do."
-Lois Bey
"Inspiration springs more readily from knowledge than from ignorance."
-Horace Meyer Kallen
"Doubt whom you will, but never doubt yourself."
-Christian Nestell Bovee
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice. Not something to wish for, but to attain."
-William Jennings Bryan
"Whatever you truly conceive of in the mind, is possible."
"Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity."
-Edwin Hubbel Chapin
"Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.."
-Washington Irving
"The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it cannot be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it."
-Elbert Hubbard
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Alva Edison
"Those who are quite satisfied sit still and do nothing; those who are not quite satisfied are the sole benefactors of the world."
-Walter Savage Landor
A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.- Unknown
"Each forward step we take we leave some phantom of ourselves behind."
-John Lancaster Spalding
School is a building that has four walls--with tomorrow inside.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
There are many ways of going forward, but there is only one way of standing still.
A lot of us would like to move mountains, but few of us are willing to practice on small hills.Doing your best is more important than being the best.
Giant oak trees started out as little nuts.
The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire. -- Ferdinand Foch
Always give more than what's expected. -- Donald Trump
If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. -- Thomas Edison
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Neither you nor the world knows what you can do until you have tried. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
So many times people end up fixated on doing things rights, that they end up doing nothing at all. -- The Wright Brothers
A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit. -- Richard Bach
Fall seven times, stand up eight. -- Japanese proverb
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. -- Thomas Edison
Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never. -- Winston Churchill
You have not lived a perfect day, unless you've done something for someone who will never be able to repay you. -- Ruth Smeltzer
Without deviation, progress is not possible. -- Frank Zappa
If you're not lighting any candles, don't complain about being in the dark.
I will never give in until the day that I die. I'll get myself some independence, carve out a future with my two bare hands. -- The Alarm
If at first you don't succeed, you're like everyone else who went on to greatness. -- Patrick Combs
Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by ***, do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen. -- Lee Iacocca, Chairman Chrysler Motors
____________________________________
Update:
I have finished university lately and posted some advice and quotes for exams, if you are interested: Motivation for students
____________________________________
Sites (You can find more there):
http://www.innertalk.com/quotes.html
http://www.coolmath.com/Survivor-Algebra/10-motivational-quotes.html - there are a lot more
http://quotations.about.com/cs/inspirationquotes/a/Life24.htm - I haven't read it, but that looks good
http://djstoddard.wordpress.com/ - btw, it is a great blog of Unmotivated Motivational author
http://www.redsofts.com/articles/read/284/8249/How_To_Make_The_Most_Of_Your_Life.html
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
day 1
Happy 1st of July, everybody!
I am still on the first poet/writer. But I'm almost done.
I saw one episode of Lucky Star and drew some doodles of Lelouch and Euphie and used android.
I was all sleepy today maybe because of the weather (not sure).
We spend so much time on sleeping that it kills me. But it is quite a normal thing. For a man I mean. They say that 1/3 of life we spend in bed (or wherever we sleep). That is crazy - just imagine how many things we could do if we didn't sleep. That is how the life goes. Anyway, we all have equal time in day and week, in month and year. What we are not equal is how much time do we have in life - that is totally another question.
So, 24 hours a day, huh?
8-9 hours of sleep + 30 minutes on anime + 2 hours on eating (preparing food etc.) + 1 hour in icq + 20 minutes on blogs + 20 minutes on reading + 30 minutes on dA = 12 hours 40 minutes.
Plus I slept and lied on the bed for another hour and a half. And there are about 10 hours left. But if only I could be sure I worked properly during this time...
And they called me from one of the Universities and told me to come and re-apply to their University because I finished school with cum laude as they call it. Ahem. + 4 hours and there will be the Hell Road (that I call one of the underground lines x_x). I'll go there on Wednesday.
I'll go and read a poem and compositions now. No, compositions first and then a poem. Bye!
I am still on the first poet/writer. But I'm almost done.
I saw one episode of Lucky Star and drew some doodles of Lelouch and Euphie and used android.
I was all sleepy today maybe because of the weather (not sure).
We spend so much time on sleeping that it kills me. But it is quite a normal thing. For a man I mean. They say that 1/3 of life we spend in bed (or wherever we sleep). That is crazy - just imagine how many things we could do if we didn't sleep. That is how the life goes. Anyway, we all have equal time in day and week, in month and year. What we are not equal is how much time do we have in life - that is totally another question.
So, 24 hours a day, huh?
8-9 hours of sleep + 30 minutes on anime + 2 hours on eating (preparing food etc.) + 1 hour in icq + 20 minutes on blogs + 20 minutes on reading + 30 minutes on dA = 12 hours 40 minutes.
Plus I slept and lied on the bed for another hour and a half. And there are about 10 hours left. But if only I could be sure I worked properly during this time...
And they called me from one of the Universities and told me to come and re-apply to their University because I finished school with cum laude as they call it. Ahem. + 4 hours and there will be the Hell Road (that I call one of the underground lines x_x). I'll go there on Wednesday.
I'll go and read a poem and compositions now. No, compositions first and then a poem. Bye!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Why do?
As I'm sure that today's situation is getting me nowhere, I decided to think of it thoroughly. Why work? Why try? What is it that is worth?
The question: why people do something?
I still have problems with motivation from time to time. I just can't do anything without a reason behind it. And "I just want to have fun" is not working for study.
The question: why people do something?
- They want to have fun
- They have to earn money and somehow survive
- They crave for power and might
- They want to be acknowledged
- They have an idol and they want to be like him/her
- They are workaholics
- They seek for something interesting
- They have dreams (what is my dream, by the way? it has been long since I thought about it...)
- They are not satisfied with how things are at present
- and so on
I still have problems with motivation from time to time. I just can't do anything without a reason behind it. And "I just want to have fun" is not working for study.
Day -1
Mua-ha-ha. Believe it or not, I've seen 17 episodes of Code Geass today. Yup, yup ^__^ I have no willpower at all. My friend gave me some materials on literature and mom told me that I'm definitely going to write the composition and get a good mark for it. Everybody wants me to do it, right? But...
Well, I watched anime the whole day.
Also I read a book called "How to write a composition";
ate cheese, a lot of it;
drank hot tea (which is not common for me);
read 1,5 compositions;
wrote a plan on one theme;
got up early and slept for an hour in process of "work";
went out and ate an ice-cream.
Hm. What should I do now? Maybe I should try to work at night?
"No willpower" stage completed today.
Well, I watched anime the whole day.
Also I read a book called "How to write a composition";
ate cheese, a lot of it;
drank hot tea (which is not common for me);
read 1,5 compositions;
wrote a plan on one theme;
got up early and slept for an hour in process of "work";
went out and ate an ice-cream.
Hm. What should I do now? Maybe I should try to work at night?
"No willpower" stage completed today.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Day -2
I am in apathy. I'm trying to find a reason for life again. And what was bothering me the most - what is it to be a great person? Is it to achieve something, to gain respect, or to be independent? What a man should do to become one? Will he be great only because people think of him that way or will he be great in his own mind? What is the greatness on the whole? Philosophic question, huh?
Ok, now about the things that I should really think about now.
How to write a composition based on several poems:
1. Read them and think of what you see there, what the author tried to tell with this.
2. Mark the most important words and lines in poems.
3. Read the list of themes of all poet's works. Point problems that were raised in given poems (if you don't know them). Check it.
4. Keep in mind that everybody is going to write about same things. So your thoughts are really valuable here.
5. Time to get down to work.
a) Take one theme and analyze given poems to match the theme.
b) Think of what to write in general about all the poems you have now and about every poem alone.
c) Try to make a plan - which part will go after another one.
d) After the plan is ready and checked for logical lines you should make up phrases or sentences to "glue" parts - so that it will look as finished harmonious work.
That's it. Aha. I have 4 poets and writers. About 30-40 themes on each one. And I haven't done a theme yet.
I'm quite sure I should have begun a month ago. Or - wait - I have had another problems back then. Ok, now I have to put up with this. I'm kind of tired of "hard" work as I have been doing no brain work for a week.
Today was like a "Nothing matters" stage.
Ok, now about the things that I should really think about now.
How to write a composition based on several poems:
1. Read them and think of what you see there, what the author tried to tell with this.
2. Mark the most important words and lines in poems.
3. Read the list of themes of all poet's works. Point problems that were raised in given poems (if you don't know them). Check it.
4. Keep in mind that everybody is going to write about same things. So your thoughts are really valuable here.
5. Time to get down to work.
a) Take one theme and analyze given poems to match the theme.
b) Think of what to write in general about all the poems you have now and about every poem alone.
c) Try to make a plan - which part will go after another one.
d) After the plan is ready and checked for logical lines you should make up phrases or sentences to "glue" parts - so that it will look as finished harmonious work.
That's it. Aha. I have 4 poets and writers. About 30-40 themes on each one. And I haven't done a theme yet.
I'm quite sure I should have begun a month ago. Or - wait - I have had another problems back then. Ok, now I have to put up with this. I'm kind of tired of "hard" work as I have been doing no brain work for a week.
Today was like a "Nothing matters" stage.
Day -3
As I have applied to 4 Universities this week, I will have 11 exams the next month. All of them are extremely important.
So, today I made a calendar of all events that are coming in July. Now I hope I will not forget any of these necessary dates.
Also, I cleaned my room a bit, removed some things that I will not use the next month, school books and notebooks, papers. Then I looked through the books for my first exam - literature composition. I know that people have been preparing for this for a year now with teachers and tutors. I'm going to do this on my own in 7 days and go to the conference on genetics in process. Yosh!!!
I am on uncertain and hesitating stage for the first exam.
So, today I made a calendar of all events that are coming in July. Now I hope I will not forget any of these necessary dates.
Also, I cleaned my room a bit, removed some things that I will not use the next month, school books and notebooks, papers. Then I looked through the books for my first exam - literature composition. I know that people have been preparing for this for a year now with teachers and tutors. I'm going to do this on my own in 7 days and go to the conference on genetics in process. Yosh!!!
I am on uncertain and hesitating stage for the first exam.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Download Day 2008
Actually, it ended some hours ago.
*yawns* I have a new Firefox now. It crashed once yet.
So, I am making my literature project like a devil. Exam is on Friday and I still do not have a presentation.
I passed my Maths exam, I got a "Good" for it. And my English was "Excellent". Cool.
I have slept for 5 hour + 38 minutes today. You know, I do not like the habit of doing everything in a day or two before the exam. I suppose, I should work on project right now, too. But... I set a record in tetris *_*V Want to go and sleep now.
By the way, when I sleep 5 hours a day it is normal (only once because the next day if I sleep for 5 hours again that's no good). And when I sleep for 6 or 4 hours then the next day I would feel really bad. Then, if I sleep 3 hours it is ok again. Though, it is much better when I sleep 10-8 hours. Nah.
It is superb when I know how my body works, but experimenting with sleep is not good for people under 18, remember it. When I'll go on holidays (I hope I will survive) I'll think of trying polyphasic sleep because I have so much to do.
*yawns* I have a new Firefox now. It crashed once yet.
So, I am making my literature project like a devil. Exam is on Friday and I still do not have a presentation.
I passed my Maths exam, I got a "Good" for it. And my English was "Excellent". Cool.
I have slept for 5 hour + 38 minutes today. You know, I do not like the habit of doing everything in a day or two before the exam. I suppose, I should work on project right now, too. But... I set a record in tetris *_*V Want to go and sleep now.
By the way, when I sleep 5 hours a day it is normal (only once because the next day if I sleep for 5 hours again that's no good). And when I sleep for 6 or 4 hours then the next day I would feel really bad. Then, if I sleep 3 hours it is ok again. Though, it is much better when I sleep 10-8 hours. Nah.
It is superb when I know how my body works, but experimenting with sleep is not good for people under 18, remember it. When I'll go on holidays (I hope I will survive) I'll think of trying polyphasic sleep because I have so much to do.
Monday, June 9, 2008
My little...
My birthday passed and I had to prepare for History exam. Man, I was too lazy to prepare for it properly - I enjoyed two days after Maths exam doing nothing. And I saw a film on Sunday. Hm I realized that I really did not put effort in this. I should have learned WWII better. No, wait! I did.
In two days I got prepared for the History exam and I got "Good". Not "Excellent" but "Good". And that's crazy. I am very proud of myself.
That makes these results go into my little wins. But also into my little failures list (I have no real lists like that, though. So, that was literally). Hehe, useful experience.
In two days I got prepared for the History exam and I got "Good". Not "Excellent" but "Good". And that's crazy. I am very proud of myself.
That makes these results go into my little wins. But also into my little failures list (I have no real lists like that, though. So, that was literally). Hehe, useful experience.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. (с) Henry Ford.
I did not succeed in my Law competition. I do not know why - just did not get enough points.
I wrote my Mathematics exam yesterday, it was ok, though not so easy and I hope for the good mark. Well, life goes on, we should move forward. But I feel like I am tired before doing something. I want to lye down and have a rest.
And where is warmth? My hands are cold.
The next exam is history and I have to admit that I do not know a thing in history but I was very proud and did not put my name down for some other - easy exam. "If everyone... swallowed their pride..." Ahem. But I think that it will be ok. Actually I can't do anything now but learn history. And some words are coming to my mind: "If it is worth doing, it's worth doing well".
I did not succeed in my Law competition. I do not know why - just did not get enough points.
I wrote my Mathematics exam yesterday, it was ok, though not so easy and I hope for the good mark. Well, life goes on, we should move forward. But I feel like I am tired before doing something. I want to lye down and have a rest.
And where is warmth? My hands are cold.
The next exam is history and I have to admit that I do not know a thing in history but I was very proud and did not put my name down for some other - easy exam. "If everyone... swallowed their pride..." Ahem. But I think that it will be ok. Actually I can't do anything now but learn history. And some words are coming to my mind: "If it is worth doing, it's worth doing well".
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Exams are here
Happy 1st day of Summer everyone.
And Good Luck at the exams. They started on 29th of May for me. It was a Russian exam and the next one will be in two days - it is Math.
Exams are hell.
I realized a few things:
If you want to do it, you will do it no matter what.
If you do not know something you will make fun of it if you actually like it or you will bite yourself and be hysterical about it if you don't like it.
Exams takes your life away.
And the time will come whether you prepare for it or not.
And Good Luck at the exams. They started on 29th of May for me. It was a Russian exam and the next one will be in two days - it is Math.
Exams are hell.
I realized a few things:
If you want to do it, you will do it no matter what.
If you do not know something you will make fun of it if you actually like it or you will bite yourself and be hysterical about it if you don't like it.
Exams takes your life away.
And the time will come whether you prepare for it or not.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Last week revision
I write here with a frequency of 1-week. Sorry =) I know I should write more.
Last week I made some progress. Of course, weekend was not so effective. So I had to get up at 6 in the morning on Monday to make a literature project. I had some material and I had to organize it - in an hour I had 10 of 20 required pages. And that was a good result. Well, I never worked on the project since that time.
Then there were English studies on Tuesday and I really made some progress there because I did the whole test in 1 and a half an hour. I made 30 mistakes, though. When others made 15-20. But it still is good and I am satisfied. Now my main goal is to revise all my mistakes that I made in tests in a year (yes, I have been writing them down) and refresh my memory on these points.
Well on Wednesday I had already been tired and I was a sad and I almost cried =) Wednesday is a sad day, after all. Ah and I did well on the test. Better than ever.
Tuesday had its Russian evening studies and it was tough because we wrote an essay. I screwed everything up and we had to read it in class and then give our works to Professor so that she will point out grammar mistakes. Oh my... Ah, and I borrowed from a friend a book to read - Murakami short stories collected in a book called "To Burn a Shed". I read two first stories - Firefly and To Burn a Shed. They were strage because they have a plot but it is thrilling the other way. It has some mystery. In his stories Murakami just tells stories about people. That is why I like his works. I hope, I'll have some time to read his novels in August. I've read the trilogy about the ship a year or so ago.
On Friday English again and as I did my test super-fast, I had to do other tests and translate about 20 sentences. I made a lot of mistakes there. Huh... I think I should work harder.
Saturday freaked me out because I realized that I had missed two history classes which were on 3d and 10th of May when nobody ever worked. And as we have the very last day at school next Saturday we asked history Professor to postpone the next classes and he said that he would never do this. I hate him now. He is a snob.
And now I do not want to go to this University again. But I know I should try. And I should try really hard to get there and to laugh at those snobs. Ha-ha-haaaa!
On Sunday I did lots of Russian tests. About 100 pages on the whole (with those tests I did on Friday and on Saturday).
So this week is the last week in school and then it is all over. Nah, we still have school exams after this, but it does not matter now.
By the way, today I skipped school. Well, I should have done that. You know, there are two ways every time. You can experience going to school the last Monday and you can experience skipping the last Monday. That is funny but... Heh, I really think there are two ways.
I went to see Narnia. It was a beautiful film with good special-effects work. And it was very sad as there was a dying civilization (which is always sad for me) and then they had to come back to the world where they came from and that is very very sad, too. I can imagine what they thought when they were going away from Narnia. But I didn't like that Aslan popped out so late and the film was full of pathos with those speeches and sword duels. Man, Peter became a conflict person. The whole film reminded me of J.R.R.T. in some ways.
So that is how I spent last week and today. I think it is necessary to analyze the work you have done in some period of time.
Good luck!
Last week I made some progress. Of course, weekend was not so effective. So I had to get up at 6 in the morning on Monday to make a literature project. I had some material and I had to organize it - in an hour I had 10 of 20 required pages. And that was a good result. Well, I never worked on the project since that time.
Then there were English studies on Tuesday and I really made some progress there because I did the whole test in 1 and a half an hour. I made 30 mistakes, though. When others made 15-20. But it still is good and I am satisfied. Now my main goal is to revise all my mistakes that I made in tests in a year (yes, I have been writing them down) and refresh my memory on these points.
Well on Wednesday I had already been tired and I was a sad and I almost cried =) Wednesday is a sad day, after all. Ah and I did well on the test. Better than ever.
Tuesday had its Russian evening studies and it was tough because we wrote an essay. I screwed everything up and we had to read it in class and then give our works to Professor so that she will point out grammar mistakes. Oh my... Ah, and I borrowed from a friend a book to read - Murakami short stories collected in a book called "To Burn a Shed". I read two first stories - Firefly and To Burn a Shed. They were strage because they have a plot but it is thrilling the other way. It has some mystery. In his stories Murakami just tells stories about people. That is why I like his works. I hope, I'll have some time to read his novels in August. I've read the trilogy about the ship a year or so ago.
On Friday English again and as I did my test super-fast, I had to do other tests and translate about 20 sentences. I made a lot of mistakes there. Huh... I think I should work harder.
Saturday freaked me out because I realized that I had missed two history classes which were on 3d and 10th of May when nobody ever worked. And as we have the very last day at school next Saturday we asked history Professor to postpone the next classes and he said that he would never do this. I hate him now. He is a snob.
And now I do not want to go to this University again. But I know I should try. And I should try really hard to get there and to laugh at those snobs. Ha-ha-haaaa!
On Sunday I did lots of Russian tests. About 100 pages on the whole (with those tests I did on Friday and on Saturday).
So this week is the last week in school and then it is all over. Nah, we still have school exams after this, but it does not matter now.
By the way, today I skipped school. Well, I should have done that. You know, there are two ways every time. You can experience going to school the last Monday and you can experience skipping the last Monday. That is funny but... Heh, I really think there are two ways.
I went to see Narnia. It was a beautiful film with good special-effects work. And it was very sad as there was a dying civilization (which is always sad for me) and then they had to come back to the world where they came from and that is very very sad, too. I can imagine what they thought when they were going away from Narnia. But I didn't like that Aslan popped out so late and the film was full of pathos with those speeches and sword duels. Man, Peter became a conflict person. The whole film reminded me of J.R.R.T. in some ways.
So that is how I spent last week and today. I think it is necessary to analyze the work you have done in some period of time.
Good luck!
How to Prepare for Exams
Here are a few links that I find useful on the subject.
Here is very good advice. Much of it, really. It is like overall plan with a few details.
This page is about the experience of high-scorers of some tests. The article has a few good ideas.
On the site of state university in New York there is info on stress, anxiety and emotions and how to change/overcome them.
On How-to-Do site kinda personal thoughts about college tests.
Here is very good advice. Much of it, really. It is like overall plan with a few details.
This page is about the experience of high-scorers of some tests. The article has a few good ideas.
On the site of state university in New York there is info on stress, anxiety and emotions and how to change/overcome them.
On How-to-Do site kinda personal thoughts about college tests.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
My Guraipu Mentos
I am watching Scrubs and eating grape mentos (or "Gu-ra-i-pu" mentos because it is from Japan, I don't know why, though).
And you know what was on my mind all this time? Here:
What is the worst thing ever? It is thinking: "I know I could..."
So, there was the 4th May a week before. I had been studying for three days then and I wrote this Law work in the University. Well, I know that I wrote wrong answers for some questions and I didn't have enough time for a few last tasks. But that was a good experience for me to take the first serious thing and to prepare for it. I thought I would be preparing for this for 2 months (March-April) but to be honest I really worked for only 3-4 hours a day for 4 days. That is definitely not good, but it somehow worked. And then the problem popped up. I have been working hard to get prepared for this Law competition and after all this was over I did not know what to do next. I mean I knew that I had a lot of things to be done but I could not begin. Somebody told me to wait and rest for a few days. And looking back I realize I did not do anything since this time.
Ah, well, I saw an Iron Man film. It was good. I liked it the most of all Marvell movies so far because Iron Man is a man and not circumstances but he himself made everything with his hands and brains. And this is kind of inspiring.
And now I think of finding a man in real life who was kind of no-one and became a successful person. Do you know any? By the way, I feel sad because there are no comments on my posts. Tell me I am not alone =)
And you know what was on my mind all this time? Here:
What is the worst thing ever? It is thinking: "I know I could..."
So, there was the 4th May a week before. I had been studying for three days then and I wrote this Law work in the University. Well, I know that I wrote wrong answers for some questions and I didn't have enough time for a few last tasks. But that was a good experience for me to take the first serious thing and to prepare for it. I thought I would be preparing for this for 2 months (March-April) but to be honest I really worked for only 3-4 hours a day for 4 days. That is definitely not good, but it somehow worked. And then the problem popped up. I have been working hard to get prepared for this Law competition and after all this was over I did not know what to do next. I mean I knew that I had a lot of things to be done but I could not begin. Somebody told me to wait and rest for a few days. And looking back I realize I did not do anything since this time.
Ah, well, I saw an Iron Man film. It was good. I liked it the most of all Marvell movies so far because Iron Man is a man and not circumstances but he himself made everything with his hands and brains. And this is kind of inspiring.
And now I think of finding a man in real life who was kind of no-one and became a successful person. Do you know any? By the way, I feel sad because there are no comments on my posts. Tell me I am not alone =)
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Me as my perfect boyfriend
Oh well
Hm-m. I don't think I am my perfect girlfriend, really. That's the point here, isn't it?
And why am I writing this? Because it is spring and everybody is kissing in front of me?
And I have got nothing to do but look into the skies, listen to happy hardcore in my headphones and smile - smile because I know that everyone can be happy and because everyone is happy. Pa-pa-ra-rara-pa-pa-ra-rara-pa-pa-ra-hohoo-pa-pa-ra-hohoo-living without your love-cant stop thinking about you... cant stop dreaming about you... hell is living without your love...life will never be the same... my heart recalls you name... (c)
Well, some disturbing facts about me and my life. Ehem...
- I do not smoke
- I do not drink so much to have a headache in the morning
- I do not swear like everyone does
- I do not care about clothes, they just have to be not so dirty and smelly (wooph)
- I hate waking up in the morning and going to bed early
- I like watching films and freaky videos and I like anime
- I use Linux and Firefox
- I like listening to music of different styles, I listen to happy hardcore and I like it.
- I love playing computer games
- I can cook simply dishes
- I like ice cream and sweets and chips and this kind of stuff
- I am pretty ambitious
- I am not the type to pick a friend for a night, I prefer long-lasting relationship
- It is hard for me to get intimate with the person and share something with him/her
- I am cautious and I am a freak of washing hands because I know what happens if you don't do that
- I like riding my bike like a noob and running
- I am a plan-machine, and I want somebody to be with me to get out of the boredom
- I want to try everything and I want to be laughed at by someone who tries it for the first time too
- I want to take someone's hand if there is a chance and I like telling stories and remembering things
- I do not like pets. People are much more interesting. Rats are funny, though
- I like to take photos and nobody lets me =(
- Well, I am cute ^__^
Hm-m. I don't think I am my perfect girlfriend, really. That's the point here, isn't it?
And why am I writing this? Because it is spring and everybody is kissing in front of me?
And I have got nothing to do but look into the skies, listen to happy hardcore in my headphones and smile - smile because I know that everyone can be happy and because everyone is happy. Pa-pa-ra-rara-pa-pa-ra-rara-pa-pa-ra-hohoo-pa-pa-ra-hohoo-living without your love-cant stop thinking about you... cant stop dreaming about you... hell is living without your love...life will never be the same... my heart recalls you name... (c)
Well, some disturbing facts about me and my life. Ehem...
Monday, April 28, 2008
Legendary canteen
I'm proud of the previous post (though it was long) because it gave me the motivation. Yeah, and I'm going to bed now. To turn in, as they say ^_^
But I wanted to write a few words about today. Because today I got this idea about motivation again.
I have been to University to apply for the law contest which is on the 4th of May. In 5 days, right.
Ok, I went to University. You know, it has lots of buildings and they are old and they look awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to get to this University because it was beautiful and it reminded me of buildings in some strategy game where there were lines on buildings in the colors of player. And there are the same lines on most buildings of this University and they are red (the default color of player).
So today I was impressed as always by these enormous buildings. And the weather was fine so after I gave all the necessary documents to one fair-haired guy and talked with two second-year female students about University life and entrance exams (they were speaking and I listened) I decided to take a tour around University and eat at the legendary canteen. I found it with the help of my bro's directions that he gave me a month ago (I called him to refresh them in my mind. It was like "Hi, bro, I want to go to the canteen, it is to the elevators and then on the left, I meant right. - Yeah, right"). And I had to ask a security guard because I knew I went the wrong direction. The canteen was behind me when I asked him. But you know, this is not an easy way. You should go to the elevators, then turn right before them and then turn left and then right and then there will be a long corridor with something suspicious like University theater or telegraph and then you see a lot of bikes and you see half of all people go straight forward down the ladder and the other half goes forward to where shops are. And I forgot where was a tricky ladder that you won't notice if you do not know that there should be one. I went back the other way =) But I ate at the canteen. I was nervous like this was some sort of a test. If you fail - you are hungry, if you succeed - you get a delicious dinner. It cost me about 1,40 euros for carrot salad with raisins and meat with buckwheat. And I took a sweet cherry compote to drink. However I got a dirty spoon which I did not have to use, thanks goodness. And there was no knife. But dinner was really good and I liked it.
Well, now I have another motivation besides the beauty of buildings - it is a cheap and good dinners at the Legendary Canteen.
But I wanted to write a few words about today. Because today I got this idea about motivation again.
I have been to University to apply for the law contest which is on the 4th of May. In 5 days, right.
Ok, I went to University. You know, it has lots of buildings and they are old and they look awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to get to this University because it was beautiful and it reminded me of buildings in some strategy game where there were lines on buildings in the colors of player. And there are the same lines on most buildings of this University and they are red (the default color of player).
So today I was impressed as always by these enormous buildings. And the weather was fine so after I gave all the necessary documents to one fair-haired guy and talked with two second-year female students about University life and entrance exams (they were speaking and I listened) I decided to take a tour around University and eat at the legendary canteen. I found it with the help of my bro's directions that he gave me a month ago (I called him to refresh them in my mind. It was like "Hi, bro, I want to go to the canteen, it is to the elevators and then on the left, I meant right. - Yeah, right"). And I had to ask a security guard because I knew I went the wrong direction. The canteen was behind me when I asked him. But you know, this is not an easy way. You should go to the elevators, then turn right before them and then turn left and then right and then there will be a long corridor with something suspicious like University theater or telegraph and then you see a lot of bikes and you see half of all people go straight forward down the ladder and the other half goes forward to where shops are. And I forgot where was a tricky ladder that you won't notice if you do not know that there should be one. I went back the other way =) But I ate at the canteen. I was nervous like this was some sort of a test. If you fail - you are hungry, if you succeed - you get a delicious dinner. It cost me about 1,40 euros for carrot salad with raisins and meat with buckwheat. And I took a sweet cherry compote to drink. However I got a dirty spoon which I did not have to use, thanks goodness. And there was no knife. But dinner was really good and I liked it.
Well, now I have another motivation besides the beauty of buildings - it is a cheap and good dinners at the Legendary Canteen.
Motivation
Motivation is a big word. One of those you can see in those self-improvement articles or books.
And motivation is a real thing. It is not that we can touch, though. However, preparing for the exams by yourself is a hard thing and you will never succeed until you have a great motivation for achieving this goal.
So, I guess we have to do something to improve our motivation and reduce laziness.
Well, for example, now I have to work hard to finish my literature project (which is really made for about 5%), prepare for law semi-exam, do the rest of history and social science questions. Ah, I forgot about my work on astronomy. Hell, but I am writing this post. Why?
There are a few reasons for this:
What should we do about laziness then? Where does it come from anyway?
2. Just turn them off. Quit programs, be offline for a while it won't hurt you.
3. This does not help much to achieve your goals.
But, even knowing all that does not make me feel motivated enough to get down to work.
I know some people have motivation and don't need any help with that. I envy them. But I can't understand why I do not have something which will make me work everyday and never want to stop and move on and on. May be I really do not want to study at University? Well, I want. That is not a question, really.
Here are some motivational tricks that were suggested by everybody:
And motivation is a real thing. It is not that we can touch, though. However, preparing for the exams by yourself is a hard thing and you will never succeed until you have a great motivation for achieving this goal.
So, I guess we have to do something to improve our motivation and reduce laziness.
Well, for example, now I have to work hard to finish my literature project (which is really made for about 5%), prepare for law semi-exam, do the rest of history and social science questions. Ah, I forgot about my work on astronomy. Hell, but I am writing this post. Why?
There are a few reasons for this:
- I am kind of tired as I went to the University today to apply for this semi-law exam. I mean law semi-exam.
- My head becomes dizzy with all the information from that law book I'm reading right now. Maybe I should read something else, though... To change author or language, you know what I mean.
- I am lazy.
What should we do about laziness then? Where does it come from anyway?
- Thoughts like "It is a simple work, I can do this in a day or two" (like with my literature project) or "I have a lot of time and I will do this later" (like with my astronomy work) or "That is tough and I do not like it, but I have to do it... not now, because I feel sleepy and all I can do is chat and spent some time at my computer, aha..." (like with everything) or "It won't give me satisfaction" (oh, what will?)
- Being online all the time. Like icq or Google talk or enough thoughts for a new post or some new comments. And you see some ads or something new in theaters and you go look what it is about and then you see the actor and you try to remember the film he was an actor in that you have seen and then you look up what this film's name was and then you read something about sci-fi and then... Ok, that's enough, right?
- Panic and stress. Really. You get tired out of nowhere and you just can not do anything else but read something good or eat something sweet to get better but this does not happen or you then forget about worries like exams and relax and see some film or play games (that's what happens frequently with me).
2. Just turn them off. Quit programs, be offline for a while it won't hurt you.
3. This does not help much to achieve your goals.
But, even knowing all that does not make me feel motivated enough to get down to work.
I know some people have motivation and don't need any help with that. I envy them. But I can't understand why I do not have something which will make me work everyday and never want to stop and move on and on. May be I really do not want to study at University? Well, I want. That is not a question, really.
Here are some motivational tricks that were suggested by everybody:
- Make a picture of something you want to achieve and put it on your desktop or working place. I have a calendar with the building of University on it.
- Think of every benefit that you will have after you pass your exams. Like student's life, getting a real student document. Imagine how you will tell everybody that you have passed exams to where you wanted. Think positive about future.
- Set some other goals that can be achieved only after you get to the University. Like getting a good and interesting work and buying a new car or something you have been dreaming for a long time. Or think of something you will do only if you pass exams. Like studying Japanese, going abroad with a grant or buying a new computer.
- Well if the second point did not help you can think in the pessimistic way. Like you do not get to the University and you can not get a good job and nobody wants to be with you and then you give up your work because of drinking and then you starve to death or commit suicide. Wow, a sad story, isn't it? But try to think positive.
Educational links
Some links for those, who is interested in learning:
http://open.yale.edu/courses/
youtube.com/ucberkeley - or - webcast.berkeley.edu/courses.php
http://www.cmu.edu/oli/
http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/web/home/home/index.htm
http://freescienceonline.blogspot.com/
Everything is at our fingertips, right? Yale... Ahm. Better not think about it and prepare for MY exams.
http://open.yale.edu/courses/
youtube.com/ucberkeley - or - webcast.berkeley.edu/courses.php
http://www.cmu.edu/oli/
http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/web/home/home/index.htm
http://freescienceonline.blogspot.com/
Everything is at our fingertips, right? Yale... Ahm. Better not think about it and prepare for MY exams.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
One Sunday in April
Today was a great day.
I woke up at 8-20 and went to the center to meet with my new French friends. That was totally fun and I'm happy to had such an opportunity. Well, now I know that I do not speak French. At all. Have to improve it after exams, I suppose. And I'm saying "I suppose" too much now, I suppose =)
So, I met with a sister and a brother. They are Czech-French and they knew English, so that was alright.
We went to the 8th Photobiennalle to the exhibition about Lumière and some other photography (like portraits of famous actors and actresses and photos of mountains in Tibet and China). There were lots of photos made by Lumière brothers: portraits of their family members, some celebrations and moments, quite personal.
Then we ate at KFC ^__^
And when I finally got home I was soaked with rain. I watched a film called Dungeons & Dragons after that, eating some cheese. The film was cool 'cause it was right, I think. When one black mage was making a long and dangerous spell on the queen and then the dragon comes from somewhere and eats the mage. Hell, what a beautiful scene, such a good luck and circumstances X)
And in the evening the heat-electric generating plant just near my house began to smoke like hell - it was on fire. So, we went and made lots of video and took photos. Dangerous thing, aha.
The day was good and not progressive as I did not do any studies today. It was relaxing, however I am totally tired.
I woke up at 8-20 and went to the center to meet with my new French friends. That was totally fun and I'm happy to had such an opportunity. Well, now I know that I do not speak French. At all. Have to improve it after exams, I suppose. And I'm saying "I suppose" too much now, I suppose =)
So, I met with a sister and a brother. They are Czech-French and they knew English, so that was alright.
We went to the 8th Photobiennalle to the exhibition about Lumière and some other photography (like portraits of famous actors and actresses and photos of mountains in Tibet and China). There were lots of photos made by Lumière brothers: portraits of their family members, some celebrations and moments, quite personal.
Then we ate at KFC ^__^
And when I finally got home I was soaked with rain. I watched a film called Dungeons & Dragons after that, eating some cheese. The film was cool 'cause it was right, I think. When one black mage was making a long and dangerous spell on the queen and then the dragon comes from somewhere and eats the mage. Hell, what a beautiful scene, such a good luck and circumstances X)
And in the evening the heat-electric generating plant just near my house began to smoke like hell - it was on fire. So, we went and made lots of video and took photos. Dangerous thing, aha.
The day was good and not progressive as I did not do any studies today. It was relaxing, however I am totally tired.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Friends
Yesterday I was so sleepy that I felt quite bad during my classes in school. And on the last lesson when we had a rehearsal of our last concert (which will be on 24 of May) I had a mind collapse and I sat on the floor and listened to the music. Then my friend woke me up. I guess I frightened somebody. And one guy asked me how I felt and I almost told him that I felt not very good without him but my old friend was listening so I said "Fine".
I think that friends are necessary because they prevent you from doing foolish things.
Amen.
I think that friends are necessary because they prevent you from doing foolish things.
Amen.
About being in love and memory
School is boring. It just takes my time. Non-productive time, though.
My head began aching after I ate (when came from school), I was singing one song of which I know only one verse and ending. And there was one line which I could not remember and when I tried to remember it my head began to hurt. It still hurts. And I thought it was because I was hungry, so we ate after evening studies today. And now I am waiting for the tablet to make this in its own way.
I saw a boy in love today. I know him, he was my classmate some years ago. I saw him by chance - in the underground, when I was running to my studies as I thought I was going to be late. He was with his girlfriend. I guess it is she, whom he talked about few months ago. And he closed his eyes and I knew for sure that he is in love. And she looked the other way, so his face was covered with her light-brown hair. I suppose this is the way this type of guys fall in love. I mean that is how he loves. Because I have never met such a guy. So, that was beautiful and it gave me good emotions. And I was happy - don't know why - I was just happy for him to be with his beloved.
Well, what is the life for, anyway? What will we remember when the time comes? Books we read or films we saw? Or maybe these very sights that we get every time we are happy or sad moments? Or our long conversations like the one I had on skype the day before with a friend in Germany? Or all these stresses about exams? I'm not sure, but I think it will be the ones whom we love and our memories connected with them. I hope I will not lose my memory till the day I die.
My head began aching after I ate (when came from school), I was singing one song of which I know only one verse and ending. And there was one line which I could not remember and when I tried to remember it my head began to hurt. It still hurts. And I thought it was because I was hungry, so we ate after evening studies today. And now I am waiting for the tablet to make this in its own way.
I saw a boy in love today. I know him, he was my classmate some years ago. I saw him by chance - in the underground, when I was running to my studies as I thought I was going to be late. He was with his girlfriend. I guess it is she, whom he talked about few months ago. And he closed his eyes and I knew for sure that he is in love. And she looked the other way, so his face was covered with her light-brown hair. I suppose this is the way this type of guys fall in love. I mean that is how he loves. Because I have never met such a guy. So, that was beautiful and it gave me good emotions. And I was happy - don't know why - I was just happy for him to be with his beloved.
Well, what is the life for, anyway? What will we remember when the time comes? Books we read or films we saw? Or maybe these very sights that we get every time we are happy or sad moments? Or our long conversations like the one I had on skype the day before with a friend in Germany? Or all these stresses about exams? I'm not sure, but I think it will be the ones whom we love and our memories connected with them. I hope I will not lose my memory till the day I die.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Giving up something precious
At the end of February I made a decision to give up watching Japanese animation or anime.
I'd been watching it for 2 years and I should say that it was a huge part of my life. Anime made my character with movies and books and life, of course. Anime gave me many thoughts and emotions, ideas and feelings. But nonetheless anime took a lot of time. So I decided to reduce the time that goes for non-preparing for exams. And I gave up watching anime. Completely.
It is hell. I never smoke so I never gave up anything. I have just been doing what I wanted all my life.
Now I frequently think that this time that I had been spending on watching anime is now going nowhere (or for thoughts like "I want to watch anime" or "What seasons are coming out this week?"). Well, my other part tells me that it's not true and that I'm spending more time for my studies. I do not know for sure...
For few first weeks I changed anime to Scrubs. And I saw 24 episodes so far. This makes one season. I suppose I watched about 3 anime seasons in a month (on average) these past years.
I feel desperate. I'm in low spirits. I want to watch anime. Badly. Damn exams.
But I know it is all for greater good.
So I just must not think about it.
I'd been watching it for 2 years and I should say that it was a huge part of my life. Anime made my character with movies and books and life, of course. Anime gave me many thoughts and emotions, ideas and feelings. But nonetheless anime took a lot of time. So I decided to reduce the time that goes for non-preparing for exams. And I gave up watching anime. Completely.
It is hell. I never smoke so I never gave up anything. I have just been doing what I wanted all my life.
Now I frequently think that this time that I had been spending on watching anime is now going nowhere (or for thoughts like "I want to watch anime" or "What seasons are coming out this week?"). Well, my other part tells me that it's not true and that I'm spending more time for my studies. I do not know for sure...
For few first weeks I changed anime to Scrubs. And I saw 24 episodes so far. This makes one season. I suppose I watched about 3 anime seasons in a month (on average) these past years.
I feel desperate. I'm in low spirits. I want to watch anime. Badly. Damn exams.
But I know it is all for greater good.
So I just must not think about it.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Sky
When I was on my way home I looked up in the sky and I couldn't help thinking that it was very beautiful. It was about sunset and clouds were creamy-colored with orange lining and the sky was light-blue. And as I was thinking about how fantastic this sight was I realized that I understood very well all this religious stuff. I mean, do you remember this quote by M. Twain?
And I wanted to go up there so badly that I made a promise. I promised that someday I will go to the sky and so I want to be a pilot. And I went home smiling and looking up at the sky and I thought how I will be a pilot and what kind of aircraft (what a word!) I will have.
I wish this dream will come true. Someday...
Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it is Heaven on Earth.But at this very moment I realized that he was wrong. Heavens are not on Earth. It is in the sky. Christianity tells that Heavens are above the Earth, as I remember, so I agreed with them. Because it was so breathtaking.
And I wanted to go up there so badly that I made a promise. I promised that someday I will go to the sky and so I want to be a pilot. And I went home smiling and looking up at the sky and I thought how I will be a pilot and what kind of aircraft (what a word!) I will have.
I wish this dream will come true. Someday...
Constitution, Essays and Madness
Days are passing by and I am not writing here. I'm sorry, really. When I think "oh, I know what I'm going to write here" I come home and feel so tired that I can not do anything or I'm too lazy for that.
So since last post I've read a constitution and improved my Russian tests a little - I made 39/40 and that is great, because before I made 38/40. Yeah, I should work harder on my essays.
Essays are very tricky. Sometimes you know what to write, sometimes you don't know what to write and the other time you have too much thoughts so you mess up your essay. And I do not like the part where you have to point the problem raised in a text and write about author's opinion.
Today I had a depression after school. I have a friend, who has made a huge progress lately and all the teachers keep telling her how great she is and that many tried but did not succeed and I am with her almost all the time and I hate listening to the teachers because this is me who is a failure here. And I do not want to be envious as it will lead to the hatred for my friend or for myself and I know what choice I will make in this situation. And I do not want to go back to this time from where I have come not so long before. I mean the Great Depression of the Youth. Argh.
I am going mad. I know that this is quite a personal information, but I suppose I will only frighten those who are around me if I tell them about this. I had hallucinations and I have some problems with breathing (not so usually, but still...). Oh, and I'm talking to myself and sometimes I find myself laughing at my other self jokes. What do you call this? Split personality?
Oh, yes, I have frequent sharp headache. But it does not last long.
And today I colored my nails with different green colors only on one hand (left). I don't know why. I just felt very sad. So all the way to my evening studies I kept hiding my hand. I was embarrassed.
And then I drank (or ate) a cup of coffee with ice-cream in it. It was good but still I do no like hot beverages and bitterness of coffee. However I liked it. It was fun.
So since last post I've read a constitution and improved my Russian tests a little - I made 39/40 and that is great, because before I made 38/40. Yeah, I should work harder on my essays.
Essays are very tricky. Sometimes you know what to write, sometimes you don't know what to write and the other time you have too much thoughts so you mess up your essay. And I do not like the part where you have to point the problem raised in a text and write about author's opinion.
Today I had a depression after school. I have a friend, who has made a huge progress lately and all the teachers keep telling her how great she is and that many tried but did not succeed and I am with her almost all the time and I hate listening to the teachers because this is me who is a failure here. And I do not want to be envious as it will lead to the hatred for my friend or for myself and I know what choice I will make in this situation. And I do not want to go back to this time from where I have come not so long before. I mean the Great Depression of the Youth. Argh.
I am going mad. I know that this is quite a personal information, but I suppose I will only frighten those who are around me if I tell them about this. I had hallucinations and I have some problems with breathing (not so usually, but still...). Oh, and I'm talking to myself and sometimes I find myself laughing at my other self jokes. What do you call this? Split personality?
Oh, yes, I have frequent sharp headache. But it does not last long.
And today I colored my nails with different green colors only on one hand (left). I don't know why. I just felt very sad. So all the way to my evening studies I kept hiding my hand. I was embarrassed.
And then I drank (or ate) a cup of coffee with ice-cream in it. It was good but still I do no like hot beverages and bitterness of coffee. However I liked it. It was fun.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Why?
I do not have a goal in my life. I am preparing to enter one of the best universities of the city and I don't know why. I can't see the goal behind these studies so I am loosing sight of what I want to do. In fact, I have never seen the clear goal in front of me. And I know I need to work to live up the expectations of my parents but what are my expectations? Why am I playing games in the evening thinking that I should do something nice because I get tired of doing pointless things instead of reading something useful that will help me to enter the university?
I remember that quote from Honey and Clover:
Well, he may be right.
I will think about it.
I remember that quote from Honey and Clover:
The reason why I am lost...And one man commented on this like: "Why don't you set up some checkpoints then?"
It's not because I don't have a map. What I lack is... a destination... (c)
Well, he may be right.
I will think about it.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
People in my life
There are a few types of people in my life:
- My relatives. As I am a silent person and do not like to talk much, I'm afraid, I can not talk to my relatives properly.
- People, whom I get to know and fall in love with. It does not matter whether it is a boy or a girl. So that I feel very nervous around them and can not talk to them and they are going to the next type:
- People, whom I get to know, but talk little to them and they are moving on to be with someone else. There is a variation - people, who do not suspect me to want to be with them, because they are going to the previous type.
- People, who does not really care about me, caring about themselves or someone else, who are definitely dearer to them than I am, so that we are on good terms. They are acquaintances.
- Other people, whom I see every day but do not say more than 5-15 words ever.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Stress
I have got something to tell you again. Now it is about stress.
There are so many things to do and so little time, right? Trying to manage all things you have to do monthly, weekly and daily you also have to keep up with everything that pops up in process. Plus a lot of information due to studies and tiredness. Moreover there is a permanent fear of final exams and entrance University exams. And here it is - a Great Stress. It is not so great, though.
What helps me to cope with stress:
There are so many things to do and so little time, right? Trying to manage all things you have to do monthly, weekly and daily you also have to keep up with everything that pops up in process. Plus a lot of information due to studies and tiredness. Moreover there is a permanent fear of final exams and entrance University exams. And here it is - a Great Stress. It is not so great, though.
What helps me to cope with stress:
- Breathing. Two-three deep breaths help to come to usual state and calm down.
- Music. Some classical music/vocal/hardcore/or whatever you like makes you feel better. I suppose music that you listen to shouldn't be aggressive or irritating.
- Exercises. Even a little exercises will reduce the tiredness and aggressiveness. What is difficult about this point is that you should overcome yourself to begin doing exercises. Thinking that exercises really help makes me do them.
- Chocolate and banana. They are said to produce some happiness hormones in the body. Well, I suppose something sweet and fresh always brings happiness.
- Sleep. Ok, I think that sleep is the most important thing in our life (as well as food is).
- Sitting in the dark room on the floor thinking about my life and calming myself down after a hard/bad day. Somebody calls that a depression but personally I think of it as a way of relaxation.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
How to be ill
Or better say - how not to be ill. Especially in March, when you do not know whether it is spring already or still a winter.
Illness is no good when you should be healthy and ready for your heroic deeds. So, here are advices that, I hope, will help you to prevent such a disaster.
I hope, that was helpful. Do you have any other ideas? Please, be free to comment.
Illness is no good when you should be healthy and ready for your heroic deeds. So, here are advices that, I hope, will help you to prevent such a disaster.
- A stitch in time saves nine. Believe me. Put your hat and scarf on to make a head, neck and chest warm. Do not let your ears to be cold (that also goes to any other part of your body). But if you feel anything that lets you think you are going to be with a temperature in bed in a day or two - be sure to take care of yourself.
- So, you have a sore throat? There is a simple and working method. Drink something hot - tea, milk, chocolate... -> then take a glass of warm water with salt or baking soda or them together and gargle your throat -> do not drink for 8-15 minutes after gargling. And of course, keep yourself warm.
- You feel ill. Do not panic =) Take aspirin (I take it frequently just to be sure everything is ok, aspirin makes me feel better when first symptoms of flu or cold show up). It is better to take aspirin with milk. Drink more water or whatever you want, just be sure it is hot or warm. It is like illness is going away from your body with water.
- Before you go to sleep drink something hot again. Warm milk with honey would be perfect. Do not forget aspirin and - yes - socks. Your legs are the first to be warm.
- Sleep more. It helps.
- If you know you shouldn't go anywhere - stay in bed for a day or two (if needed). We are all people, after all. And remember the first rule - better prevent than cure for a non-progressive week.
- If you have a temperature better see a doctor. I have paracetamol in tablets or lemon Teraflu (with paracetamol in powder). And, hell, stay in bed! That means no sitting at the computer/watching TV/reading the whole book.
I hope, that was helpful. Do you have any other ideas? Please, be free to comment.
Horrible Mistakes
Well, well, well. I want to sleep. This morning I have fallen asleep and awoke with my alarm about 8 times from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. I didn't really want to go to school, but at the 8th time I woke up and there was a mist outside so I decided to go and take the fog into my lungs. I like such weather as it has a high humidity and the air is cool. He-he...
I slept 5 hours and a half tonight. Just tell me why there are so many good movies to watch? I think it was a mistake to watch Jumper again. I spent my sleeping hours to see what I have already seen. That's not good. I have a history lecture for the whole 3 hours in a row with 10 minutes break today. I feel I will snore while slumbering all the time. Hoot!
I slept 5 hours and a half tonight. Just tell me why there are so many good movies to watch? I think it was a mistake to watch Jumper again. I spent my sleeping hours to see what I have already seen. That's not good. I have a history lecture for the whole 3 hours in a row with 10 minutes break today. I feel I will snore while slumbering all the time. Hoot!
Friday, March 14, 2008
My Running Home
Oh, yes, of course I'm watching Scrubs and that's where I get all these post titles. I have given up watching my favorite cartoons - Japanese animation - you know what I mean, and now I watch Scrubs like I've nothing else to do. Learn, sweety, learn!
Arghm. So, this afternoon I had English evening studies. I had never expected that he would come, but he was there. The greatest person himself, a guy who has been skipping his other studies for 6 months already, he came. And that was fun, he joked every time I was bored, so these 2 hours were like... like one hour really.
And I told him to wait for me for we go home together. It was Hell. I mean, I had to run. My legs hurt. And we went to MacDonald's but he ate like he was in such a hurry. I got an ice cream, by the way, with chocolate and caramel, just love it. And I was so nervous, I could hardly talk. So, we hardly talked...
Though, that was a wonderful experience. I felt my mind to be almost blind with excitement, where did my cynicism go? Or can it be love? Hell, no. But I admit that he is the person whom I really admire. He just amazes me. Last time I saw him on English, he was late for 1.40 hours. Great
Arghm. So, this afternoon I had English evening studies. I had never expected that he would come, but he was there. The greatest person himself, a guy who has been skipping his other studies for 6 months already, he came. And that was fun, he joked every time I was bored, so these 2 hours were like... like one hour really.
And I told him to wait for me for we go home together. It was Hell. I mean, I had to run. My legs hurt. And we went to MacDonald's but he ate like he was in such a hurry. I got an ice cream, by the way, with chocolate and caramel, just love it. And I was so nervous, I could hardly talk. So, we hardly talked...
Though, that was a wonderful experience. I felt my mind to be almost blind with excitement, where did my cynicism go? Or can it be love? Hell, no. But I admit that he is the person whom I really admire. He just amazes me. Last time I saw him on English, he was late for 1.40 hours. Great
Sadness
Today has been a sad day so far.
This Tuesday when I was going home with my friend, he said hello to one guy who was sitting next to me in the train in the underground. He looked smart, his hair was bright red, that I would have called "orange". He had lots of acnes all over his face, but he looked nice and everything... My friend told me he was a high-schooler, 11th form just like me.
He is in the reanimation right now and who knows if he will survive. THAT was sad. It is like you see the person who is sitting near you smiling to you and the next moment you don't know if he will live. Damn the basketball. Damn the accidents. Damn.
This Tuesday when I was going home with my friend, he said hello to one guy who was sitting next to me in the train in the underground. He looked smart, his hair was bright red, that I would have called "orange". He had lots of acnes all over his face, but he looked nice and everything... My friend told me he was a high-schooler, 11th form just like me.
He is in the reanimation right now and who knows if he will survive. THAT was sad. It is like you see the person who is sitting near you smiling to you and the next moment you don't know if he will live. Damn the basketball. Damn the accidents. Damn.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
My Day
Well, today I skipped school. It is Thursday, after all. And by Thursday all my tiredness and lack of sleep shows up. So, I slept till 11 a.m.
Then I did some physical exercises just to be sure my body is still moving.
My breakfast was really heavy - I eat a lot these days, don't know why, may be that's my stress or all that strength that I put in my studies requires more food (doubtful).
While eating I watched a few episodes of Scrubs, which was great fun.
So, after all that I thought about my studies. Today I had Russian. Hell, we learn it as if we are students of some linguistic/philology university already. But all we will have to "overcome" is a test. But, well, these Russian studies are informative.
Funny thing - when I was in the underground listening to my playlist and watching people around me that have just come to my mind - I live among people and I love it. This woman with red tights, a man with a book in a pink cover, a blond girl with big headphones on, a guy with lovely eyes - this all makes difference between us. I mean this is great to live among different people and have a chance to meet them, some - by chance, for a second, and others - by chance, too, to spend some time with and to share some thoughts and feelings. Hell, I love it. The world is full of joy and mystery after all. And yes, I have to use "hell" less often, I suppose.
So, I ate two times this day and drank a cup of chocolate from a little packet with another sweety mushroom with condensed milk (in Russian there is a special term for this - "sguschenka" =)). I think I should reduce my daily sweets consumption x)
That is how my day usually goes - School/sleep, then doing some homework for evening studies and eve studies themselves (for 2 hours +2 hours for road) then supper and here I am - at my computer, thinking about what I should do now.
*Going to look through recent photos and maybe update dA...
Then I did some physical exercises just to be sure my body is still moving.
My breakfast was really heavy - I eat a lot these days, don't know why, may be that's my stress or all that strength that I put in my studies requires more food (doubtful).
While eating I watched a few episodes of Scrubs, which was great fun.
So, after all that I thought about my studies. Today I had Russian. Hell, we learn it as if we are students of some linguistic/philology university already. But all we will have to "overcome" is a test. But, well, these Russian studies are informative.
Funny thing - when I was in the underground listening to my playlist and watching people around me that have just come to my mind - I live among people and I love it. This woman with red tights, a man with a book in a pink cover, a blond girl with big headphones on, a guy with lovely eyes - this all makes difference between us. I mean this is great to live among different people and have a chance to meet them, some - by chance, for a second, and others - by chance, too, to spend some time with and to share some thoughts and feelings. Hell, I love it. The world is full of joy and mystery after all. And yes, I have to use "hell" less often, I suppose.
So, I ate two times this day and drank a cup of chocolate from a little packet with another sweety mushroom with condensed milk (in Russian there is a special term for this - "sguschenka" =)). I think I should reduce my daily sweets consumption x)
That is how my day usually goes - School/sleep, then doing some homework for evening studies and eve studies themselves (for 2 hours +2 hours for road) then supper and here I am - at my computer, thinking about what I should do now.
*Going to look through recent photos and maybe update dA...
First Post
Well, as always - this is my first post in this journal. Ok, here are reasons for why I have created this blog:
1. I have lots of thoughts;
2. I have 4 other blogs but this one is kinda one-themed;
3. I am stressed, have frequent depressions, think about purpose in life and look for the goal to reach;
4. I am a teenager, I am not very sociable and my exams are coming.
For those, who will be with me for these few months - I appreciate it very much and I hope that my blog will be helpful for one person at least.
Thank you.
Yours,
Stressed university entrant.
1. I have lots of thoughts;
2. I have 4 other blogs but this one is kinda one-themed;
3. I am stressed, have frequent depressions, think about purpose in life and look for the goal to reach;
4. I am a teenager, I am not very sociable and my exams are coming.
For those, who will be with me for these few months - I appreciate it very much and I hope that my blog will be helpful for one person at least.
Thank you.
Yours,
Stressed university entrant.
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