Day 21

I forget things. I do, really.
My English sucks. I got only 80 points for it. I appealed and there were mistakes. Damn it. So, it is not right when I say "At history" when I mean a lesson at school? And think requires "about" and not "of"...
Tomorrow exam will determine my life. And I only learned till 17th century and I know 20th century erm... not good.
Today I talked to a lot of people. I'm making some social progress. Ah, I got acquainted with a guy who sure is studious X) (I'm sorry if you ever will read this, but you are kinda like that). Though, he did not give me such an impression.
And I spent many hours (or so it seemed) with a guy I've known for a little less than a month. He paid for a part of my ice-cream. lol. When he was getting of the carriage in the underground I thought he would kiss me for a second. Haha, I know you read this X) That's ridiculous, right?
So, now it is 83+67+45+80 = 275 And it is an average. I mean I asked about 10 people today. They all have more or less but around 300.
Oh my, I want to be a student already. But I can't believe this will end tomorrow. And I always get a worse mark than I hope for. Ehems.
Damn.

Day 5

Ah, it is raining and that's why I'm sleepy again.
Today I read a poem and some critical material about the second author. The main achievement is a finished anime series - I watched the last 7 episodes of Spice and Wolf. I was quite disappointed by its ending, though. Just a little bit. Yeah.
So, there is an exam the day after tomorrow. I have lots of work to do and my head is full of quotes for composition but I can't really remember where they are from now. Haha.
That's it. I did not work properly today.
Oh, yeah, I forgot...
I am lonely.

How to Prepare for Exams

Here are a few links that I find useful on the subject.

Here is very good advice. Much of it, really. It is like overall plan with a few details.
This page is about the experience of high-scorers of some tests. The article has a few good ideas.
On the site of state university in New York there is info on stress, anxiety and emotions and how to change/overcome them.
On How-to-Do site kinda personal thoughts about college tests.

Motivation

Motivation is a big word. One of those you can see in those self-improvement articles or books.
And motivation is a real thing. It is not that we can touch, though. However, preparing for the exams by yourself is a hard thing and you will never succeed until you have a great motivation for achieving this goal.
So, I guess we have to do something to improve our motivation and reduce laziness.
Well, for example, now I have to work hard to finish my literature project (which is really made for about 5%), prepare for law semi-exam, do the rest of history and social science questions. Ah, I forgot about my work on astronomy. Hell, but I am writing this post. Why?
There are a few reasons for this:

1. I am kind of tired as I went to the University today to apply for this semi-law exam. I mean law semi-exam.
   
2. My head becomes dizzy with all the information from that law book I'm reading right now. Maybe I should read something else, though... To change author or language, you know what I mean.
   
3. I am lazy.

Aha! These problems can be solved. 1. Get some sleep. 2. Read something else. 3. ----
What should we do about laziness then? Where does it come from anyway?

1. Thoughts like "It is a simple work, I can do this in a day or two" (like with my literature project) or "I have a lot of time and I will do this later" (like with my astronomy work) or "That is tough and I do not like it, but I have to do it... not now, because I feel sleepy and all I can do is chat and spent some time at my computer, aha..." (like with everything) or "It won't give me satisfaction" (oh, what will?)
2. Being online all the time. Like icq or Google talk or enough thoughts for a new post or some new comments. And you see some ads or something new in theaters and you go look what it is about and then you see the actor and you try to remember the film he was an actor in that you have seen and then you look up what this film's name was and then you read something about sci-fi and then... Ok, that's enough, right?
3. Panic and stress. Really. You get tired out of nowhere and you just can not do anything else but read something good or eat something sweet to get better but this does not happen or you then forget about worries like exams and relax and see some film or play games (that's what happens frequently with me).

Ok. These are more difficult points. But still, have some solutions. 1. That does not make any sense. You know, there is an idea of dying the next day, so you have no time to waste (but what point in making a project if you will die?). And there is much older conception like "Better do it now" or "Now or never". Tomorrow will come and it will be too late, I swear (that may cause the 3 reason, though). So, my literature project can be simple (though, it is not, really) but it requires a lot of time to get all information look right. And actually, there is no time. I mean, time can not be enlarged or changed but we can use it wisely.
2. Just turn them off. Quit programs, be offline for a while it won't hurt you.
3. This does not help much to achieve your goals.

But, even knowing all that does not make me feel motivated enough to get down to work.
I know some people have motivation and don't need any help with that. I envy them. But I can't understand why I do not have something which will make me work everyday and never want to stop and move on and on. May be I really do not want to study at University? Well, I want. That is not a question, really.
Here are some motivational tricks that were suggested by everybody:

1. Make a picture of something you want to achieve and put it on your desktop or working place. I have a calendar with the building of University on it.
   
2. Think of every benefit that you will have after you pass your exams. Like student's life, getting a real student document. Imagine how you will tell everybody that you have passed exams to where you wanted. Think positive about future.
3. Set some other goals that can be achieved only after you get to the University. Like getting a good and interesting work and buying a new car or something you have been dreaming for a long time. Or think of something you will do only if you pass exams. Like studying Japanese, going abroad with a grant or buying a new computer.
   
4. Well if the second point did not help you can think in the pessimistic way. Like you do not get to the University and you can not get a good job and nobody wants to be with you and then you give up your work because of drinking and then you starve to death or commit suicide. Wow, a sad story, isn't it? But try to think positive.

I suppose motivation is all-brain thing. You should think about it. You should find something motivational. You should make a list of things that you can not do now, but you will be able to do after all the exams will be over. When you will not be stressed up with all these problems, when you will relax and laugh at all this knowing that you are a student of one of the best Universities of your city or country. It is like you are worth it. You are successful. You are hardworking and thoughtful. And you know that you have ambitions and you have strength. And you know that you can do anything. And the whole world awaits for you to make a first step to the future.

Giving up something precious

At the end of February I made a decision to give up watching Japanese animation or anime.
I'd been watching it for 2 years and I should say that it was a huge part of my life. Anime made my character with movies and books and life, of course. Anime gave me many thoughts and emotions, ideas and feelings. But nonetheless anime took a lot of time. So I decided to reduce the time that goes for non-preparing for exams. And I gave up watching anime. Completely.
It is hell. I never smoke so I never gave up anything. I have just been doing what I wanted all my life.
Now I frequently think that this time that I had been spending on watching anime is now going nowhere (or for thoughts like "I want to watch anime" or "What seasons are coming out this week?"). Well, my other part tells me that it's not true and that I'm spending more time for my studies. I do not know for sure...
For few first weeks I changed anime to Scrubs. And I saw 24 episodes so far. This makes one season. I suppose I watched about 3 anime seasons in a month (on average) these past years.
I feel desperate. I'm in low spirits. I want to watch anime. Badly. Damn exams.
But I know it is all for greater good.
So I just must not think about it.

Stress

I have got something to tell you again. Now it is about stress.
There are so many things to do and so little time, right? Trying to manage all things you have to do monthly, weekly and daily you also have to keep up with everything that pops up in process. Plus a lot of information due to studies and tiredness. Moreover there is a permanent fear of final exams and entrance University exams. And here it is - a Great Stress. It is not so great, though.
What helps me to cope with stress:

1. Breathing. Two-three deep breaths help to come to usual state and calm down.
2. Music. Some classical music/vocal/hardcore/or whatever you like makes you feel better. I suppose music that you listen to shouldn't be aggressive or irritating.
3. Exercises. Even a little exercises will reduce the tiredness and aggressiveness. What is difficult about this point is that you should overcome yourself to begin doing exercises. Thinking that exercises really help makes me do them.
   
4. Chocolate and banana. They are said to produce some happiness hormones in the body. Well, I suppose something sweet and fresh always brings happiness.
   
5. Sleep. Ok, I think that sleep is the most important thing in our life (as well as food is).
6. Sitting in the dark room on the floor thinking about my life and calming myself down after a hard/bad day. Somebody calls that a depression but personally I think of it as a way of relaxation.
   

Any suggestions? I will appreciate your ideas! Comment, please.