Why do?

As I'm sure that today's situation is getting me nowhere, I decided to think of it thoroughly. Why work? Why try? What is it that is worth?
The question: why people do something?

1. They want to have fun
2. They have to earn money and somehow survive
3. They crave for power and might
   
4. They want to be acknowledged
   
5. They have an idol and they want to be like him/her
   
6. They are workaholics
7. They seek for something interesting
8. They have dreams (what is my dream, by the way? it has been long since I thought about it...)
9. They are not satisfied with how things are at present
   
10. and so on

I just do not get something vital in this world, right?
I still have problems with motivation from time to time. I just can't do anything without a reason behind it. And "I just want to have fun" is not working for study.

Day -1

Mua-ha-ha. Believe it or not, I've seen 17 episodes of Code Geass today. Yup, yup ^__^ I have no willpower at all. My friend gave me some materials on literature and mom told me that I'm definitely going to write the composition and get a good mark for it. Everybody wants me to do it, right? But...
Well, I watched anime the whole day.
Also I read a book called "How to write a composition";
ate cheese, a lot of it;
drank hot tea (which is not common for me);
read 1,5 compositions;
wrote a plan on one theme;
got up early and slept for an hour in process of "work";
went out and ate an ice-cream.

Hm. What should I do now? Maybe I should try to work at night?
"No willpower" stage completed today.

Day -2

I am in apathy. I'm trying to find a reason for life again. And what was bothering me the most - what is it to be a great person? Is it to achieve something, to gain respect, or to be independent? What a man should do to become one? Will he be great only because people think of him that way or will he be great in his own mind? What is the greatness on the whole? Philosophic question, huh?
Ok, now about the things that I should really think about now.
How to write a composition based on several poems:
1. Read them and think of what you see there, what the author tried to tell with this.
2. Mark the most important words and lines in poems.
3. Read the list of themes of all poet's works. Point problems that were raised in given poems (if you don't know them). Check it.
4. Keep in mind that everybody is going to write about same things. So your thoughts are really valuable here.
5. Time to get down to work.
a) Take one theme and analyze given poems to match the theme.
b) Think of what to write in general about all the poems you have now and about every poem alone.
c) Try to make a plan - which part will go after another one.
d) After the plan is ready and checked for logical lines you should make up phrases or sentences to "glue" parts - so that it will look as finished harmonious work.

That's it. Aha. I have 4 poets and writers. About 30-40 themes on each one. And I haven't done a theme yet.
I'm quite sure I should have begun a month ago. Or - wait - I have had another problems back then. Ok, now I have to put up with this. I'm kind of tired of "hard" work as I have been doing no brain work for a week.
Today was like a "Nothing matters" stage.

Day -3

As I have applied to 4 Universities this week, I will have 11 exams the next month. All of them are extremely important.
So, today I made a calendar of all events that are coming in July. Now I hope I will not forget any of these necessary dates.
Also, I cleaned my room a bit, removed some things that I will not use the next month, school books and notebooks, papers. Then I looked through the books for my first exam - literature composition. I know that people have been preparing for this for a year now with teachers and tutors. I'm going to do this on my own in 7 days and go to the conference on genetics in process. Yosh!!!
I am on uncertain and hesitating stage for the first exam.

Download Day 2008

Actually, it ended some hours ago.
*yawns* I have a new Firefox now. It crashed once yet.
So, I am making my literature project like a devil. Exam is on Friday and I still do not have a presentation.
I passed my Maths exam, I got a "Good" for it. And my English was "Excellent". Cool.
I have slept for 5 hour + 38 minutes today. You know, I do not like the habit of doing everything in a day or two before the exam. I suppose, I should work on project right now, too. But... I set a record in tetris *_*V Want to go and sleep now.
By the way, when I sleep 5 hours a day it is normal (only once because the next day if I sleep for 5 hours again that's no good). And when I sleep for 6 or 4 hours then the next day I would feel really bad. Then, if I sleep 3 hours it is ok again. Though, it is much better when I sleep 10-8 hours. Nah.
It is superb when I know how my body works, but experimenting with sleep is not good for people under 18, remember it. When I'll go on holidays (I hope I will survive) I'll think of trying polyphasic sleep because I have so much to do.

My little...

My birthday passed and I had to prepare for History exam. Man, I was too lazy to prepare for it properly - I enjoyed two days after Maths exam doing nothing. And I saw a film on Sunday. Hm I realized that I really did not put effort in this. I should have learned WWII better. No, wait! I did.
In two days I got prepared for the History exam and I got "Good". Not "Excellent" but "Good". And that's crazy. I am very proud of myself.
That makes these results go into my little wins. But also into my little failures list (I have no real lists like that, though. So, that was literally). Hehe, useful experience.

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. (с) Henry Ford.

I did not succeed in my Law competition. I do not know why - just did not get enough points.
I wrote my Mathematics exam yesterday, it was ok, though not so easy and I hope for the good mark. Well, life goes on, we should move forward. But I feel like I am tired before doing something. I want to lye down and have a rest.
And where is warmth? My hands are cold.

The next exam is history and I have to admit that I do not know a thing in history but I was very proud and did not put my name down for some other - easy exam. "If everyone... swallowed their pride..." Ahem. But I think that it will be ok. Actually I can't do anything now but learn history. And some words are coming to my mind: "If it is worth doing, it's worth doing well".

Exams are here

Happy 1st day of Summer everyone.
And Good Luck at the exams. They started on 29th of May for me. It was a Russian exam and the next one will be in two days - it is Math.
Exams are hell.
I realized a few things:
If you want to do it, you will do it no matter what.
If you do not know something you will make fun of it if you actually like it or you will bite yourself and be hysterical about it if you don't like it.
Exams takes your life away.
And the time will come whether you prepare for it or not.